Monday, May 13, 2013

Moving On...



Just Rachel is moving to Wordpress.

Come with me.

It will be fun.

I promise.

www.rachelmom.com

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 11


Write this to Sardis, to the Angel of the church. The One holding the Seven Spirits of God in one hand, a firm grip on the Seven Stars with the other, speaks: “I see right through your work. You have a reputation for vigor and zest, but you’re dead, stone-dead. “Up on your feet! Take a deep breath! Maybe there’s life in you yet. But I wouldn’t know it by looking at your busywork; nothing of God’s work has been completed. Your condition is desperate. Think of the gift you once had in your hands, the Message you heard with your ears—grasp it again and turn back to God.
Revelation 3:1-3

The church at Sardis seems awfully familiar, doesn't it?  They have a reputation for vigor but they are 'stone-dead'.  I've been to a few of these churches.  The biggest problem is that most of the people who attend a church like this have no idea that they are dead.  And you know why they don't know?  Because they are so stinkin' busy.  They are working themselves to a nub.  They can rattle off a list of serving projects a mile long.  Their Facebook statuses make us all feel like inferior church ladies.  The next time you encounter such a person, try giving them a bit of mercy.  Think how hard it is to do all that work for nothing.  I know that sounds harsh and maybe you are judging me a bit for my finger wagging at the church in general through these past few weeks.  I need mercy too, ya'll.  Every stinking day.  But I cannot hide from the fact that these few chapters in the book of Revelation are the ONLY words we get straight from Jesus about His churches.  And you have to agree with me that the similarities to our modern church problems are pretty striking.  You think Jesus didn't know that we would work ourselves into a lather about the Hawaiian themed potluck?  Or the Easter - palooza?  Of course he did. And you know what?  If God is glorified and His love is multiplied and given freely at those events, then Hallelujah!  Keep pressing on.  But if every event your church attempts only creates division, martyrs, whiners and pouters, then it might be time to 'grasp it again and turn back'.

As always, the best part of this directive is that we all get a 'do-over'.  Jesus says their condition is 'desperate'.  But "Maybe there's life in you yet."  Turn back is one of the most precious commands in all of scripture.  It works as well for the housewife as it does for the thief or the scoundrel.

“If you pull the covers back over your head and sleep on, oblivious to God, I’ll return when you least expect it, break into your life like a thief in the night. “You still have a few followers of Jesus in Sardis who haven’t ruined themselves wallowing in the muck of the world’s ways. They’ll walk with me on parade! They’ve proved their worth!
Revelation 3:3-4

This is a pretty descriptive paragraph.  Look at the wording here.  A few followers at Sardis have proved their worth.  And look how they did it.  By not wallowing in the muck of the world's ways. Wallowing is a great word.  If you think about sin being a mud puddle, I think there is a reasonable expectation that even the best of us might get dirty from time to time.  You accidentally step in it. You fall headfirst into it.  Perhaps some one jumps into it and you get dirty just being in the same area.  But Jesus says that those who have ruined themselves have done so by wallowing in the world's muck.  That's akin to lying down in the mud puddle and making sure you are fully immersed in the filth.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 10



Last week we talked about how Jesus sees everything that is being done in the church.  And in the case of the church at Thyatira, he was impressed. But there are some things going on in this church that Jesus ain't happy about.

“But why do you let that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet mislead my dear servants into Cross-denying, self-indulging religion? I gave her a chance to change her ways, but she has no intention of giving up a career in the god-business. I’m about to lay her low, along with her partners, as they play their sex-and-religion games. The bastard offspring of their idol-whoring I’ll kill. Then every church will know that appearances don’t impress me. I x-ray every motive and make sure you get what’s coming to you.
Revelation 2:20-23

Uh oh...

When people talk about the book of Revelation being 'scary', they are generally talking about the stuff we will read much later.  But this is the scary part right here.  If this passage doesn't scare the tinklies outta you, you might need to read it again.

How about this part?

Then every church will know that appearances don’t impress me.

I am about to start cross stitching that verse on pillows for every dang preacher in America.  Try to remember this.  Jesus is not impressed with your building program.  He is not impressed with your new sanctuary which doubles as a skate park.  He is not impressed with your 52 ft statue.  But just a few verses ago, Jesus told us what impresses him.

I see everything you’re doing for me. Impressive! The love and the faith, the service and persistence. Yes, very impressive! You get better at it every day.

Love
Faith
Service
Persistence

Jesus makes it simple.  We make it hard.

The rest of you Thyatirans, who have nothing to do with this outrage, who scorn this playing around with the Devil that gets paraded as profundity, be assured I’ll not make life any harder for you than it already is. Hold on to the truth you have until I get there.
Revelation 2:24-25

I think I can simplify this a bit.  Jesus is really upset with some of the believers in Thayatira.  They have turned God into a business and a career.  They 'play around with the Devil' and pretend the whole deal makes them smarter than the rest of us.  Here's an easy way to tell if a preacher or church is doing this today.  If they agree with all the good stuff in the bible but dismiss anything that speaks of judgement then they are playing around with the devil.  Likewise if they make up arbitrary rules for behavior that have no biblical foundation but are based upon the notion that something 'doesn't look right', then they too are probably playing with the devil.

I know this is not a popular topic.  But it's pretty important.  People assume that satanic activity will include Ozzy Osbourne music, black clothes and a cauldron of some sort.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Satan was an angel.  The most beautiful of all the angels.  Wanna know the best sign that satan is influencing a person or place?

"Did God really say...?"
Genesis 3:1

As soon as you hear something like this, it's time to pack up the mini van and find another church.  That doesn't mean that honest study and discussion of the Bible will not lead to differences of interpretation.  But if you worship with people who are continually saying that large parts of the Bible are not true or cannot apply to the modern world, then stay if you want to, but remeber who you are playing with.


Friday, April 19, 2013

Book Review - Wild

 
 
Here is my non-fiction for the month of March.  I am only one month behind which is pretty awesome considering my track record with these  kinds of resolutions.
 
 
Wild is the story of Cheryl Strayer.  Cheryl loses her mother and kinda goes nuts.  She is young and married.  The grief consumes her and sends her into drug use, divorce, and lots of ill advised relationships with bad men.  I am not suggesting that grief over a lost loved one is an excuse for this type of behavior.  But, honestly, I can't imagine life without my mom so I am giving Cheryl a pass here.  Mom loss just has to be different and I have no intention of judging her grief process.
 
 
Cheryl decides to save herself by hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.  She doesn't know a whole lot about hiking so she doesn't have an easy time of it.
 
If Cheryl had made this hike last year and written a book about it, I would have hated it.  I am over the stunt book.  But she hiked the PCT in the early 90's.  So it's pretty evident she never intended to make the trip just to write a book about it.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 9


Write this to Thyatira, to the Angel of the church. God’s Son, eyes pouring fire-blaze, standing on feet of furnace-fired bronze, says this:
“I see everything you’re doing for me. Impressive! The love and the faith, the service and persistence. Yes, very impressive! You get better at it every day.
Revelation 2:18-19

Jesus sees everything you are doing for him. 

I am preaching to myself here.  A few weeks ago, I was organizing my curriculum for my 2-3 year old class.  I decided to do all of it at one time and just be completely set for the next 12 weeks.  Our class has almost tripled in size in the last two years.  That means that instead of 20 total packets to put together each week, we now do almost 60.  And so I embarked on that task first thing one Friday morning.  By 8PM that night, every flat surface of my kitchen and dining room was covered in preschool Bible lessons.  It was so overwhelming to behold that I took a picture of it.  My plan was to post it on Facebook.  But then I began to realize that the only reason I would post such a photo was to get some sympathy and recognition from my friends.  You see, very few people are aware of the work I do to coordinate that class each week.  Ya'll...I make it look too dang easy!!!  I just wanted someone to see that work and acknowledge it.  I wanted to glorify the work instead of the God for whom I was working. And that was wrong. 

All too often, I forget why I serve.  I'm not sure how it happens.  I know better.  Every week when I glue cotton balls on cardboard clouds I do so with one purpose.  I want to lay a foundation for Christ in the lives of those children.  Not one of those kids in my class is going to become a baptized believer while under my care.  But I fully believe that the word of God has power and that power is as available to a 2 year old child as it is to an adult. 

Are you slaving away at some minstry nobody notices?  Are you currently resisting a call to serve in a place that doesn't seem 'big' enough?  Maybe it's time to accept that God is calling you to something...smaller.  Jesus is telling us here that he sees everything.  Let's start believing that.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 8

Write this to Pergamum, to the Angel of the church. The One with the sharp-biting sword draws from the sheath of his mouth—out come the sword words:
 “I see where you live, right under the shadow of Satan’s throne. But you continue boldly in my Name; you never once denied my Name, even when the pressure was worst, when they martyred Antipas, my witness who stayed faithful to me on Satan’s turf.
Revelation 2:12-13

Ya'll, how can you not love the Message translation?  'Satan's turf'?  The NIV says 'where Satan lives'.  And, sure, both of those phrases mean the same thing.  But I think the word 'turf' give a much better impression.  To me it better illustrates what a punk Satan is. That's right.  I said it.
And don't you just feel like we are on Satan's turf most of the time?  Be careful with the analagy though.  Satan may live here and this may be his turf but he is not in control. 

“But why do you indulge that Balaam crowd? Don’t you remember that Balaam was an enemy agent, seducing Balak and sabotaging Israel’s holy pilgrimage by throwing unholy parties? And why do you put up with the Nicolaitans, who do the same thing?

If you have never heard of Balaam, let me make a long story short.  Balaam was a prophet.  God spoke to him but Balaam wasn't exactly keen on delivering the unpopular message he had received  Also he had a talking donkey.

Seriously.

Go read the whole story here.

So Jesus is trying to encourage the church at Pergamum.  He knows they are trying hard in a bad place.  But this Balaam crowd?  These unholy parties?  This Nicolaitian business?

Jesus ain't having it.

Enough! Don’t give in to them; I’ll be with you soon. I’m fed up and about to cut them to pieces with my sword-sharp words.

People love to talk about Jesus like he was a sweet organic farmer.  He is just love and goodness and blah, blah, blah.  And you know what?  Jesus is love and goodness and I assume he has no problems with pesticide free agriculture.  But the imagery of His words as a sword is no accident. 

 “Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.”
Revelation 2:17

Any ideas on this secret name? Because I have no notion what this deal is about.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Glutton - Part 28


Let's talk about Ruby.

Did you ever watch that show?  It aired on the style network for 3 or 4 seasons. Ruby weighed over 700 pounds.  She lost a massive amount of weight over a three year period and was down to around 370 during the last season.  The show did a lot of things right (in my humble opinion).  They tried to address the psychological root of obesity with as much (or more) vigor as they did the physical causes.  In some ways, the show was the complete opposite of The Biggest Loser.  But the end result was the same.  Ruby began regaining weight.  And she tried to hide it but eventually the producers figured it out and cancelled the show. Fast forward two years.  Ruby now has a Facebook page and is using Visalus weight loss shakes.  She is down 20 pounds lower than her lowest weight from the tv show.  If you were a gambler, how much would you bet on Ruby maintaining this success?

Let me say this.  I love Ruby (as much as you can love someone you have never met.)  All her struggles break me into pieces because I have walked that same road.  (Right down to those stinkin Visalus shakes.)  I want her to succeed.  I want me to succeed. But what good is success if it can't be maintained?  I am not trying to be cynical here.  I am crazy desperate for an answer.

Having gained after a big weight loss something like 8 times, I feel Ruby's pain. And all the others who are in this big fat boat with me. Because you as a thin person just cannot understand. You can't imagine why we didn't respond to all that positive feedback you gave us. Didn't you compliment our new wardrobe? Didn't you applaud our motivation to eat nothing at every celebration for months? Weeks? Years?  How could we possibly get fat again? 

Good Lord, I wish I knew the answer.

Seeing someone for the first time after a regain is the worst. The look in their eyes. The way they seem ashamed for you. It just assaults your soul. You want to tell them how it happened. You want to explain that you never intended to be back in these fat pants. But you know they won't believe you. So you smile. You make a joke. You pretend. And you promise yourself that the next time...

Because that's all we have. 
The next time. 
Tomorrow. 
Someday.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 7

Write this to Smyrna, to the Angel of the church. The Beginning and Ending, the First and Final One, the Once Dead and Then Come Alive, speaks:
“I can see your pain and poverty—constant pain, dire poverty—but I also see your wealth. And I hear the lie in the claims of those who pretend to be good Jews, who in fact belong to Satan’s crowd.
 “Fear nothing in the things you’re about to suffer—but stay on guard! Fear nothing! The Devil is about to throw you in jail for a time of testing—ten days. It won’t last forever.
Revelation 2:8-10

It's pretty clear what's happening so we don't have to wrestle with this text to understand it.  The church at Smyrna is suffering...and they are gonna keep on suffering for ten days.  (I am assuming this is ten years just based on normal bible prophecy stuff.   Days usually equal years.  I don't know why.  Let's just go with it.)

“Don’t quit, even if it costs you your life. Stay there believing. I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you.
Revelation 2:10

If you live in a world where Jesus only desires your happiness, this passage is about to ruin your day.  The believers in Smyrna lived in constant pain and dire poverty.  And Jesus is ok with it.  In fact, He tells them to keep going even if it kills them! 

This is hard for modern believers, isn't it?
Jesus loves us, right?
Right.
And if you love someone, you never want them to suffer, right?
WRONG.

Sometimes (maybe even often) suffering is necessary. 

The devil is about to do some damage to the church is Smyrna.  Do Not miss this.  Jesus knows about it beforehand.  And He is going to let it happen.  Not because He is mean and wants His followers to suffer for no good reason.  Suffering creates strength.  And the believers at Smyrna are going to need that strength. 

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Winter 2013 - Part 2

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A few of these pictures are from the Gateway Arch in St Louis.  When I was growing up, my family travelled to Denver, Colorado often.  It was a two day car trip.  One of the things I remember about all those trips is my dad pointing out the Arch.  Every time, he would say "You know, you can go up inside that thing and look out the very top."  

So thirty years later, I took my kids inside that thing and we looked out the very top.  It was worth the wait.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 6


“Turn back! Recover your dear early love. No time to waste, for I’m well on my way to removing your light from the golden circle.
Revelation 2:5

God always has an easy answer.  To the Ephesians who had lost their 'first love', He says "Turn back!"  (I love that there is an exclamation mark.  Who knew punctuation could be so inspiring?)  This simple advice is the same basic message God has been giving His people since forever.  "Turn back!"  I think the simplicity is why we so often screw it up.  We want it to be harder.  We are so scared of grace that we cannot accept it.  Not to step on any toes here but I think this is an area of Catholicism that is appealing to most people.  Confess to a priest.  Do the 'penance' they require and then be done with it.  But look ya'll.  You can say Hail Marys until your face falls off and you still won't be right with God.  Just accept the fact that you screwed up again and stop.  Then try again and hopefully leave out the screwing up part.  Repeat for the rest of your stinkin' life. 

“You do have this to your credit: You hate the Nicolaitan business. I hate it, too.
Revelation 2:6

What the what?!?!?  I normally like to let scripture speak for itself but this deal required a bit of research.  I was actually surprised that even Google could not give me a really definitive answer.  (There were 22, 150 results though which,from what I can gather, are just a bunch of bloggers pretending they know.)  The best I can deduce is that the Nicolaitians were a group guilty of idolatry and fornication.  There is not a lot of agreement about this.  But the other theories I read were wildly divergent and quite frankly, a little bit goofy.  Feel free to research this on your own but consider yourself warned.  75% of what is written out there is pure drivel.  Apply your most jaundiced eye to anyone who claims that their interpretation is the only 'true' answer.  For  my purpose here, I am not so much interested in what the Nicolaitians did but in how Jesus reacts to it.

Do you think Jesus is just a 'big picture' kinda God?  Have you deceived yourself into believing that he doesn't concern himself with your 'business'? 

Do you have some business going on at your church?  Your workplace?  Your home?  Of course you do.  We all do.  Jesus knows all about it and, even better (or worse depending), is that He knows how you feel about it.  You know, your real reaction to things.  Not that fake smile that we plaster on so nobody gets their feelings hurt.

Don't miss the important part here.  Jesus hates the 'business'.  He doesn't hate the Nicolaitians.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Glutton - Part 27



Can we talk about regaining for a bit?  I haven't lost enough weight yet to regain any.  It's just something I need to address.

I can't watch "The Biggest Loser" anymore.  I used to love that show.  It shamed and inspired me.  An odd combination to be sure but I loved it.  After a few seasons though, I started to feel as if it perpetuated every myth people believe about the obese.  Because the show basically proved that if you just got your fat butt off the couch and exercised for three hours a day and ate Jennie O lean turkey meat, you too could lose 127 pounds in just 12 weeks.  Right?  And clearly those fatties really needed a trainer to yell at them until they cried.  You gotta break 'em to build 'em.  Amirite?  And even though they talked incessantly about good nutrition, that never stopped them from having a challenge to see how many doughnuts the contestants would eat for a certain reward.  And then (my favorite part)  the trainers get to berate whichever poor soul actually did eat the doughnuts.  "How could you?"  they would shriek.  Just once, I wanted one of the contestants to shake that doughnut in someone's face and shout "How could YOU!?!?" 

As the seasons began to pass, something happened.  One by one, past contestants started to regain the weight.  Now this, in itself, is no big surprise.  A huge percentage of people who lose lots of weight do regain it.  You can't actually blame that on the tv show.

Then the 2006 winner, Erik Chopin, went public with his own weight gain.  The winner.  The guy who saw all the medical evidence about how his weight was killing him.  The guy who bounded up to the big scale in his official Biggest Loser tank top and compression shorts while confetti rained down on him and his wife cried happy tears in the audience.  That guy gained it all back.  He owned a deli in the town where he lived.  How often,as he was regaining, do you think people came in and just stared? Whispered behind his back?  Made concerned phone calls to his wife or mom?  Flat out asked him in front of God and everybody?  How much shame do you think Erik endured every day?  And then, when the show called to do a 'Where are they now?" feature, he did something crazy.  He answered the dang phone!  That's the bravest thing I have ever heard.  If that had been me, I would have moved to another country and changed my name to Wutang Margarita Smith. 

You know why Erik ansered the phone?  Beacuse he was desperate.  And desperation almost always trumps shame. 

I don't blame the tv show for Erik's weight problems.  (Ok, I blame them a little bit.)  Mostly I blame a weight loss mindset that never addresses addiction.  And by that I do not mean "Well you are addicted to food so I guess you will be obese permanently and die young."  What I long for is that someone would get real and say "You are always going to struggle with food.  Every day of your life is going to be a balance between freedom and dependence.  And twelve weeks on a ranch is just the tip of this gluttony iceberg."

In case you think I am unfairly singling out this one show, next week we will talk about Ruby


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Winter 2013 - Part One

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Ok...here's the story.  I have a new phone and only the slightest inkling as to how to get the pictures off of it and to my comnputer.  Therefore the next few slideshows you see will be full of pictures that have no chronological connection to each other.  They all contain pictures of the same children taken in the past 4 months.  Just go with me on this one.  Also, in case you were interested, this is why I don't scrapbook.



Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 5

Write this to Ephesus, to the Angel of the church. The One with Seven Stars in his right-fist grip, striding through the golden seven-lights’ circle, speaks:
“I see what you’ve done, your hard, hard work, your refusal to quit. I know you can’t stomach evil, that you weed out apostolic pretenders. I know your persistence, your courage in my cause, that you never wear out.
Revelation 2:1-3

Jesus gives his first message to the church at Ephesus. You know what I love about this verse?  "I see what you've done."  For all you Christians out there working yourself to a nub every day and three times on Sunday...Jesus sees what you do.  But this next part is gonna get all up in your business. 

 "I know you can't stomach evil, that you weed out apostolic pretenders."  I feel like I am expected to 'stomach evil' about 28 times a day.  Frankly, it gets on my nerves.  This is not about loving the sinner and hating the sin.  This is not about self righteous tolerance.  It's pretty simple really.  What is your reaction to evil?  Do you shrug your shoulders and say 'times have changed' or 'kids these days'.  Do you rant about it to anyone who will listen?  Do you ignore it?   (This is my personal response lately.  I am in a season that will probably last forever where I am trying to focus on MY sin so I am ignoring your sin...or trying to.) And hear me on this.  I am not suggesting that we all get signs made and head out to join Westboro Baptist Church.  But Jesus is speaking here.  And He is commending the church for not stomaching evil.  But do we even know what evil is anymore?  Could we define it?

“But you walked away from your first love—why? What’s going on with you, anyway? Do you have any idea how far you’ve fallen? A Lucifer fall!
Revelation 2:4-5

Have you ever known a brand new Christian who came to Christ as an adult?  They are just precious.  (I was one ...so I know.)  There is this period right after salvation where everything makes complete sense (mostly because you don't know anything.)  The Bible is just one sweet revelation after another.  And Jesus is so real in your life that the Holy Spirit just oozes out of you.  You don't really question anything.  You don't try to figure out whether Greek verb conjugation changes the meaning of a certain scripture.  You don't worry about the gnostic gospels.  You hardly ever think about Mary Magdalene.  (Non-Christians are obsessed with this particular Mary.  It's super goofy.)  And you look up to people who have Christian seniority and you want to emulate them.  They memorize scripture...chapter and verse... and quote it all the dang time.  They pray for ONE HOUR every day.  They never roll their eyes during a sermon.  11 years after my salvation I know a lot of scripture but I can never remember what book it came out of.  (I generally know if Jesus said something but I never know which gospel.  And if it isn't Jesus, I generally just default to Paul.  9 out of 10 times this works.)  I tried desperately to pray for an hour but I kept falling alseep.  Do you remember how cute it was to watch one of your kids fall asleep at the dinner table?  I just assume Jesus feels that way about me so I quit trying so hard.  And after all these years, I still roll my eyes during a sermon if the need arises.  My pastor is just a man.  He knows it.  I know it. 

I don't think there is anything wrong with examining and questioning your faith.  But this first love that Jesus is talking about?  I think that is just stone cold belief.  I just believe that Jesus is who he says he is.  I just believe what he says about me.  It's not about stagnating in your Christian life or not maturing.  But if your faith is not rooted in belief,  you won't grow.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Book Review - Quick Takes



More Sherlock Holmes and Mary Russell.  I love these books but I gotta take a break.  I am at maximum saturation with Sherlock.  I will probably read the next one when Elementary goes on hiatus for the summer.  Have you watched Elementary?  You seriously should.

 
 
Don't over think this one.  It's the nineteenth installment in the series.  NINETEENTH.  I try to think of every one of these books as an episode of a television show.  Not much changes for the characters.  The story doesn't advance all that much.  But it is entertaining as heck and that's ok.
 





Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Book Review - The Shoemaker's Wife




Did you know that Adrianna Trigiani used to write for the Cosby Show?  True story.

Don't let that influence your decision to read her novels though.  They are nothing like sitcoms.  Everything she writes is just...yummy.

The librarian warned me that this one 'was a bit slow.'  And she was right.  But I happen to like slow.
It's a story about two brothers.  It's about Italy.  It's about America.

Just the descriptions of the Italian mountains are enough to make you feel like you had a vacation.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Book Review - I regret this

Ok, remember how I was going to read one non-fiction book per month in 2013?

Well, it's March and I have finished one.  That's pretty good as far as my resolutions go.  But here's the problem.  My intention was to read biographies of great men and women.

Here's what I ended up reading.

 
 
Before I read this book, I hated Cody Brown.  I know it's not a very Christian thing to admit.  But Jesus is no fan of lying either so I'm not sure which way to go on this deal.
 
I didn't hate Cody because his religious views are different than mine.  I didn't hate him because he is a polygamist.  I just think he's kind of a slime ball.  For example, the wives constantly talk about financial problems and he drives a two seater convertible.  What kind of butthead father of 20 drives around in a brand new car while his wife is crying over the checkbook.  That is inexcusable behavior in any husband.  And Cody is always pretending that he has it rough.  At one point in the book he says. "Think about how hard you work on your one marriage.  I do that times 4."  Dude...cry me a river and go drown yourself in it.  If you wanted us to have sympathy for you, perhaps you should not have let cameras document your life.  You understand how TV works, right? 
 
But as much as I abhor Cody...I love his wives.  (Some I love more than others.)
 
The best part of reading this book is that it proved me right in almost everything that I yell at the TV while watching their reality show.  These sister wives are not too different from any women that you know.  They are annoyed with each other and their husband quite a bit.  Which is enjoyable to me.  They are smart, decent, strong women.  And they are as jealous, as petty and as passive aggressive as Leah and Rachel were in the Book of Genesis.  Plural marriage wasn't a good idea then.  It ain't a good idea now


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Book Review - The Racketeer



John Grisham makes me happy.  I just love him and I do not care how you feel about it.

That being said...I felt his last few books were getting a bit thin.  I thought Grisham was falling into the trap of most uber-successful authors and perhaps was going to start phoning it in.

But this book.  You gotta be kidding me.  It is as good or better than any of Grisham's early work.  It is so well planned that I never knew what was coming next.

The story is about a lawyer (surprise!) who is in federal prison.  He's innocent...no really. 

So in his copious amounts of spare time (apparently prison is quite boring), he hatches a scheme to get out.  It's not a jailbreak.  It's totally legal.  And you are going to enjoy it.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 4


See these keys in my hand? They open and lock Death’s doors, they open and lock Hell’s gates.
Revelation 1:18

John is seeing Jesus for the first time in many years.  And John hasn't exactly had an easy time of it, has he?  But watch how this reunion goes down.  They don't embrace.  They don't relax and talk about old times.  John doesn't even get an update about all his friends in heaven or an 'atta boy' for all his perserverance.  But I think he gets something even better. In this verse, Jesus confims who he is...once again.  He tells his servant John "Don't worry.  I am in control."  Because, honestly, don't you think John may have been a tiny bit concerned?  I don't mean to imply that John doubted Jesus.  Only that he may have wondered if he had misunderstood.  Jesus makes it very clear to John that he has not.  I think that very often we want that fuzzy kinda love from Jesus but what we get is the same thing John got...the truth.  There will be plenty of time for John and Jesus to reminisce and fellowship.  But right now, there is work to do.  And Jesus is there to give John his orders.


Now write down everything you see: things that are, things about to be. The Seven Stars you saw in my right hand and the seven-branched gold menorah—do you want to know what’s behind them? The Seven Stars are the Angels of the seven churches; the menorah’s seven branches are the seven churches.”
Revelation 1:18-20

Jesus' first concern in this revelation is the church.  It's important here to stop and clarify.  Jesus LOVES the church.  Jesus DIED for the church.  He has not now nor will he ever give up on the church.

But maybe you have?  Maybe you are so sick of the church that you wanna beome a Wiccan or something.  I understand and I hardly blame you.  We haven't done a real good job have we?  And I am real sorry about that.  But, in our defense, the church is doing good all over the world and you probably never hear anything about it.  One Baptist housewife mobilizing a town to collect, sort and send shoes overseas is not going to be the lead story on any news hour.  And that kind of thing happens all day every day.  The Holy Spirit is alive and well.   It is working in the hearts and lives of so many people.  If you looked, it would be had to NOT find an example of that work every day.

But hating the church is so much easier.  Maybe I shouldn't say 'hate'.  But certainly disdain, pity, anger and ridicule would be appropriate terms.

Jesus has some stuff to say to the churches.  He's not letting the church off the hook.  But he's not giving up on them either.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Glutton - Part 26

The apostles then rendezvoused with Jesus and reported on all that they had done and taught. Jesus said, “Come off by yourselves; let’s take a break and get a little rest.” For there was constant coming and going. They didn’t even have time to eat.
So they got in the boat and went off to a remote place by themselves. Someone saw them going and the word got around. From the surrounding towns people went out on foot, running, and got there ahead of them. When Jesus arrived, he saw this huge crowd. At the sight of them, his heart broke—like sheep with no shepherd they were. He went right to work teaching them.
 When his disciples thought this had gone on long enough—it was now quite late in the day—they interrupted: “We are a long way out in the country, and it’s very late. Pronounce a benediction and send these folks off so they can get some supper.”

Jesus said, “You do it. Fix supper for them.”
Mark 6:30-37


I love this passage in The Message translation.  Here is the disciples' response.

They replied, “Are you serious? You want us to go spend a fortune on food for their supper?”
Mark 6:37

By the way, if you haven't read The Message translation, you are seriously missing out.  The language is not nearly as poetic or beautiful as other versions but you get great verses like this one and it so much easier to comprehend.  (On a side note, I could care less what version of the Bible you read.  But if you get mad when any other translation is mentioned or declare that your particular favorite is the ONLY authoritative text, then you have yourself a little idolatry problem that you might want to pray about.)

I find this passage so interesting in relation to gluttony.  You see, Jesus faced hunger before and His response was much different.
 
Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: “Since you are God’s Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread.”
 Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.”
Matthew 4:1-4

So what changed?  When Jesus is faced with a hungry horde, why does he demand his disciples feed them?  Why doesn't he just say, "I know you are hungry.  Get over it.  Man does not live by bread alone." 

I don't have an answer here.  It's just something that intrigues me.

Jesus got them all to sit down in groups of fifty or a hundred—they looked like a patchwork quilt of wildflowers spread out on the green grass! He took the five loaves and two fish, lifted his face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples, and the disciples in turn gave it to the people. He did the same with the fish. They all ate their fill.
Mark 6 : 39-44

I'm not sure this scenario could be repeated in the modern church.  Jesus miraculously produced enough food to feed a ton of people.  They ate their fill.  (Do we even know what that means anymore?)  And, as far as I can see, nobody complained.  That's the real miracle if you ask me.  Not one person asked "How was this fish prepared?"  No one demanded honey cinnamon butter for their bread.  And nobody claimed to be gluten intolerant.

Are you ready for the biggest miracle in this deal?

The disciples gathered twelve baskets of leftovers.
Mark 6:44

Ya'll...they had leftovers.   Remember that we are not talking about a group of people who ate well on a regular basis.  I would confidently say that none of these people were used to eating anything that they didn't have to work hard to catch, kill, prepare or earn.  And yet Jesus presents them with a free all-you-can-eat buffet. And instead of gorging themselves and stuffing their pockets full of bread for later or demanding a to-go box, these people just ate their fill and left the rest.









Monday, February 25, 2013

Glutton - Part 25


I have been rejected.

I entered this series in a Christian writing contest a few weeks ago. 

They picked 30 finalists.

Apparently I was 31.  (They didn't actually tell me I was 31st, I have just decided to believe that.)

One of the chosen manuscripts was titled Kids, Dogs and Kitchen Disasters. 

Another was Please Pass the Aspirin.

Seriously.

I lost to books about dogs and aspirin.

If ever I had a problem with arrogance, I feel confident I have been cured of that affliction.
(And don't get me wrong, those books might be awesome.  I'm sure they took lots of work and don't deserve to be made fun of by me. But come on.  Those titles just drip Lifeway best seller, don't they?)

But I am so glad that I entered this deal.  Because it's exactly the kind of thing I would NEVER do .  Pressing the 'Send' Button to enter that contest was saying "I think what I have created is important enough for you to read."  And if you know me even a little bit, then you know what a leap of faith that was for me.

So Glutton continues.  It may not be an every week deal.  (I know you will be shocked but I often have not one dang thing to say.) 

I am planning a book for when I get skinny though.  The working title is "How I kicked fat right in the butt and you can too!"  I would think about pre-ordering if I was you.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Your Status Is Beyond Annoying


I gotta unfriend some people on Facebook.

No, really.  It's just gotten out of hand.  And you'll be surprised to find that it has nothing to do with politics ...which is refreshing.

1st...I have a 'friend' who is the ex-husband of a friend.  Seeing his posts and pictures about his multiple trips to the beach (at least 5 in the past 8 months) is getting tiresome.  Yes, he is free to travel anywhere he wants and take his girlfriend with him.  I could care less.  But dude...Everyone in this town knows you have been out of work for months and are currently suing your ex-wife for half of her pathetic hourly wage in child support.  So flaunting your 'vacations' kinda make me want to damage you.  And the worst part?  I defended your sorry behind for a year during the divorce.  I quoted scripture.  I prayed for reconciliation.  I assumed your wife was exaggerating your flaws.  And now I am proved completely wrong which just gets on my dang nerves.  So, by all mean, continue to be a big old butthead.  But I don't think I can watch anymore.

2nd - One of my 'friends' posted this article called "Ten Ways to Keep Him From Cheating".  Ya'll...my blood pressure went right into stroke territory.  I HATE these damn articles.  And I hate them because they provide excuses for adultery.  We don't do this with any other sin.  Nobody is writing an article called "How to Keep Your Neighbor from Murdering You In Your Bed" or "Sure, You Were Raped but it's Probably Your Own Fault." or "Maybe Your House Would Not Have Been Burglarized If You Didn't Have Such Awesome Stuff". 
And, of course, my 'friend' (who sings at my church by the way...gotta love it) introduced this article by saying "something to think about ladies".  Hey buddy.  Know what I'm thinking about right now?  Kicking you in the eyeball,  That's what.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 3


It was Sunday and I was in the Spirit, praying.
Revelation 1:10

Poor, old John is exiled on Patmos.  It's Sunday so he does what he always does.  He worships.  He is not lying on the rocky beach whining about the sad  state of his life.  He is not shaking his fist at the God who brought him here.  John is praying. 

And God rewards John, his faithful servant, with a revelation.

I heard a loud voice behind me, trumpet-clear and piercing: “Write what you see into a book. Send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, Laodicea.” I turned and saw the voice.
I saw a gold menorah
with seven branches,
And in the center, the Son of Man,
in a robe and gold breastplate,
hair a blizzard of white,
Eyes pouring fire-blaze,
both feet furnace-fired bronze,
His voice a cataract,
right hand holding the Seven Stars,
His mouth a sharp-biting sword,
his face a perigee sun.
Revelation 1:10-16
 
Don't get bogged down in this description.  John was praying. He hears a voice.  He turns around and sees Jesus.  Is this the best day ever?  Or what?
 
John reacts in a way that seems completely reasonable to me.
 
I saw this and fainted dead at his feet.
Revelation 1:17
 
Don't you think this just tickled Jesus?  I imagine him smiling and shaking his head over John at this point.  (Understand I have no biblical basis for this.  It just seems like what Jesus would do.)
 
 “Don’t fear: I am First, I am Last, I’m Alive. I died, but I came to life, and my life is now forever.
Revelation 1:17-18
 
It's possible (based upon that weird description) that John did not fully recognize Jesus.  But Jesus reassures him.  This verse is basically saying "Don't be scared buddy.  It's just me."
 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Glutton - Part 24

Can we talk about the birthday cake?

That cake taunted me. Cake is like my abusive ex - boyfriend.  I know it's wrong.  I know it will hurt me.  I know the whole deal will end badly.  But it just feels so good. 

So despite myself, we had a great celebration meal. The whole evening was just fun. I ate the foods I planned to have and was absolutely satisfied.  I served piece after piece of that delicious cake to my friends and family.  I even served them ice cream to go with it.  And ya'll...I hardly hated their guts at all for being able to eat it.

But then everyone left and I was alone in the kitchen...with the cake.  This scenario has ended badly for me approximately 743 times in the past.  I rinsed off plate after plate of cake.  Most of the kids had wasted their piece.  Just whole buttercream roses left abandoned on their plate.  It caused me physical pain to wash those delicacies down the drain.  But I did it.  And so finally the kitchen was clean and I had no other recourse but to face the cake.

I wanted that cake so bad. ( And, yes, I am ashamed to admit that I think about cake this much.  But my goal here is freedom and personal embarrassment is a small price to pay.)

And wanting that cake taught me an interesting lesson.  You see I was completely full from my meal.  I was not, in the least, hungry.  My appetite was wholly satisfied.  But my desire for that cake was completely unrelated to my appetite. 

How often do we allow desire to destroy us?  How much have we ruined in our lives by allowing things we want to overshadow what we need and , more often than not, what we already have?

In the end, I prevailed.  I ate no cake.  And you know what?  I have made peace with the fact that I may never lose my desire for buttercream roses.  But giving in to every desire is just bondage disguised as personal fulfillment.

So if you are keeping score.  It's birthday cake - 743   Rachel - 1

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation Part 2


I, John, with you all the way in the trial and the Kingdom and the passion of patience in Jesus, was on the island called Patmos because of God’s Word, the witness of Jesus.
Revelation 1:9

The book of Revelation was probably written around the year 95AD.  I have no intention of arguing this date with anyone because I honestly don't care.  I'm only using a date at all to talk a bit about John.  John was the youngest disciple of Jesus.  I really believe John was in his late teens or early twenties when Jesus called him.  Assuming all these dates are anywhere near accurate, that gives us the book of Revelation written by John when he is in his eighties. 

Turning his head, Peter noticed the disciple Jesus loved following right behind. When Peter noticed him, he asked Jesus, “Master, what’s going to happen to him?”
Jesus said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you? You—follow me.” That is how the rumor got out among the brothers that this disciple wouldn’t die. But that is not what Jesus said. He simply said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you?”
John 21:20-23

'The disciple Jesus loved' in this passage is John.  This passage is also written by John so you can really see he has all the humbleness you might expect from a young man.  I'm highlighting these verses because I wonder how often John thought about this conversation throughout his life.  You see John's life wasn't exactly easy after Jesus' death and resurrection.  John watched all of the other disciples (including his brother) be martyred for the cause of Christ.  Maybe his faith was so strong that he never experienced fear but that seems almost impossible, doesn't it?  Toward the end of his life, John was sentenced by the emperor Domitian to be boiled to death.  They brought John out into the arena, dunked him into boiling oil and guess what?  HE DIDN'T DIE!!!  Don't you think John, at that point, thought that perhaps he was going to live until Jesus returned? 

Try to remember these things as we read on.  John is exiled on the island of Patmos.  This is not a tiki bar, sapphire blue water, coconut cream pie kind of island either.  Patmos is little more than a giant. craggy rock in the Aegean Sea at the time of John's exile.  John is on this island alone.  He is old. He has been boiled alive.  All his friends and family are dead.  Lots of them John watched as they were martyred.  Honestly, if anyone was deserving of a pity party, it was our boy John.   

But John is not sitting on this lonely island feeling sorry for himself. 

John is planning a worship service.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Glutton - Part 23

Things are pretty boring here in gluttonville.

Which I suppose is a good thing.  I did have a close call this week.  And perhaps that situation bears examining.

We were at a Tex-Mex restauraunt.  I had heard nothing but good things about this place but I didn't go in there with any intention of hurling myself off the clean eating bandwagon.  I actually have over 6 weeks with no food slip ups...which is probably some kind of record.

So I sat down with confidence.

And then they brought two baskets of chips to the table.

Jesus take the wheel.

Normally chips do not tempt me.  I like them but honestly, I could care less.  But these chips were different.  They were thin.  As in so wafer like that I could see through them.  They were clearly fresh.  As in they glistened with oil.  They were salty.  As in my friend Lauren sprinkled them liberally.  But even through all that, I perservered. 

Then I opened the menu.  This establishment has an entree entitled "Elvis' Fried Chicken".  Let me try to explain something to you.  Elvis was not only the King of Rock and Roll...he was also King of the gluttons.  So when you see an item named after him on a menu, do yourself a favor and just order it because I can pretty well guarantee you, some good eatin is in your future. 

So as my friends talked, I began planning an epic fail.  First I would eat the chips.  I would not eat all of the chips but I would eat enough that my friends would begin texting each other behind my back and possibly posting about it on Facebook.  Then I would order the Elvis entree.  And I would eat half of it and then take the rest home to possibly eat in the car. But that wasn't all.  You see I had a birthday celebration planned the next night for my bestie.  I had already ordered the cake.  Why not spread this failure over 36 hours?  I imagined the crappy cereal I would eat for breakfast.  Captain Crunch!!!Bliss!!!  The Chick-fil-A spicy combo I would have for lunch.  Perfection!!!  My delicious pasta and meatballs for dinner with two pieces of garlic bread.  OMG!!!  And finally, my ultimate ending with sweet, sweet birthday cake.  MUST EAT ALL THE ROSES!!!   Then I would be right back on track first thing on Sunday.  Right?!?!? 

Wrong.  (Do you know I have never got 'right back on track first thing on Sunday' in the history of ever?)  Why do I try to convince myself this is even a possibility?

The waitress arrived and I ordered the meal I originally planned on.  I ate no chips.  I ate a totally satisfying lunch.  It was great and I didn't feel deprived. And all I can tell you is that it was definitely not my will power.  Because my will was to eat those friggin chips.  But God's will and God's power serve a higher purpose for me.  I have been ignoring that fact for far too long.

Next week we'll talk about that birthday cake. 

Lord have mercy.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Book Review - The Round House



The Round House is about a rape on an Indian reservation.

I know, right?  Doesn't this sound like the most depressing book in the history of ever?  

I thought so too.  But it won the National Book Award and it has over 600 five star reviews on Amazon. I had to at least attempt to read it.

Here's what I can tell you.  Louise Erdrich is an artist.  She has crafted a story that makes you feel without turning that story into a melodramatic bowl of nonsense.  Her characters are unique and believable.  Her plot is effortless.

Some books just make you better for having read them.  This is one of those books.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation 1

A revealing of Jesus, the Messiah. God gave it to make plain to his servants what is about to happen. He published and delivered it by Angel to his servant John. And John told everything he saw: God’s Word— the witness of Jesus Christ!
How blessed the reader! How blessed the hearers and keepers of these oracle words, all the words written in this book!

Time is just about up.
Revelation 1:1-3
 
Just reading through the first verses makes me feel good.  I'm blessed to be reading this book! Woo hoo!  And then you get to the next verse...Time is just about up.  Uh oh.

You know, as a Christian, this should make me happy.  I long for Jesus to remodel this world.  But something about just being a human makes that phrase Time is just about up scare the patoodlies outta me.  And I think a big part of that fear stems from our reluctance to really accept grace.  When Jesus returns, He is going to find me blameless.  Not because I am sister super Christian.  But because I have placed my faith in him.  That's it.  Possibly the simplest and most complex idea in the history of history.   But part of me thinks there must be some catch to the whole deal.  Some fine print I missed.  And that's why the idea of Jesus returning causes that apprehension. 

Now, if you aren't a Christian, that phrase should scare you to pieces.  "Cause Jesus is about to come down and bust hell wide open and things are gonna get ugly.  If you are one of these people who only believe in the granola eating, Kumbaya kinda Jesus, you need to keep reading.  Jesus is both love and righteous judgement.  Judgement is not punishment. This book is not about God getting even with those who refused to worship him.  This is not about revenge.  Don't lose sight of that as we go.  Revelation is going to show you exactly what that real justice looks like. 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Book Review - 7




Jen Hatmaker is currently ruining my life. 

I read 7 during the Christmas holidays.  In retrospect, probably not a great idea.  Yep, I read this book in a room with so many presents they wouldn't even fit under the tree.  Did I mention the book is about excess?

I feel confident that, if we ever met, Jen and I could be good friends.  But I also think we would probably roll our eyes behind each other's back every now and again. 

7 is about a series of experiments that Jen and her family particpated in.  Each month, they (or sometimes just she) gave up excessive something or other.  The first month was food.  Jen picked seven foods and ate them exclusively.  One  month required her to wear only 7 items of clothing.  (This one would have been easy for me)  Other months included media, shopping and possession fasts. 

I don't actally disagree with much of anything she has written in this book.  It's just that much of it makes me feel guilty about the way I am living my life and honestly? that gets on my nerves.

Also, in addition to wanting to sell the house and move the family to a camper, reading this book made me think we should also adopt a couple of Ethiopian kids.  Which means I am gonna need a bigger car...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bible Tuesday - Revelation


A revealing of Jesus, the Messiah.
Revelation 1:1

Since it's January, every good Christian is starting their "Read the Bible in One Year" deal.  That means that most of Christendom is reading Genesis right now.  And really, who doesn't love Genesis?  Every great Bible story you ever learned as kid came mostly from Genesis.  It's easy to read, easy to interpret, and easy to talk about with others. 

Revelation is NONE of those things. 

For a long time I have wanted to do a study on this book.  I envisioned something like "Revelation for Normal People".  Because here's the problem.  Some people just ignore this book.  Some people skim it and move on.  And some people like it FAR too much.  You know the ones I'm talking about?  These goofs that diagram all the sentences and assure you that a pattern emerges confirming that Obama is the antichrist.  They stockpile canned goods to make it through the tribulation.  They speak with total confidence regarding their interpretations no matter how shaky their biblical foundation may be.

I am none of these people. 

You see, the first time I read this book, I was a brand new Christian who knew jack diddly about bible prophecy.   And I really enjoyed it.  But every time I heard someone talk about it, it was if we hadn't read the same book.  I was confused and annoyed. 

One of the core tenets of my beliefs is that God intended for ME to be able to read and interpret scripture for myself.  I do not believe God would inspire something to purposefully confuse me.  So when we encounter something that is, shall we say...odd, I am just going to say "I have no idea what that means" and move on.

So my hope is that by the time we get done, you and I can be the type of people who love Revelation for what it actually says.  That we can read this book with hope, not fear.  And that we will see Jesus revealed because ya'll...that's the whole point

Monday, January 28, 2013

Glutton - Part 22


I feel better than I have in a very long time. 

This is the hard part.  I feel like I am doing everything I need to do to reclaim my body.  I have more energy.  I am sleeping better.  But the pull to jump on a scale is overwhelming.

And isn't that completely goofy?  Because no matter what number flashes off that thing, it won't really change anything.  Oh, it may make me temporarily happy or depressed, but as far as really telling me what kind of progress I am making?  Nope.

But I am not going down that road again. 

Here are a few things that I have been consistently doing this time around. 

- I am eating three meals a day and no snacks.  Look, I am not going to argue with you about this.  I don't actually care if you eat 24 small meals every day.  But, for me, not having to think about what snack is appropriate has been very helpful.  I can't be trusted (yet) to make healthy choices.  So limiting the amount of choices I make is nice. 

- Along those lines, I am streamlining my menu.  For example, I eat the same breakfast every day. Breakfast is just hard for me.  I DO NOT want to eat in the mornings.  I just want coffee and peace.  The very idea of food is nauseating to me at 5AM.  But the thing is...everything I have read about diet and nutrition for the past 25 years has stressed the importance of breakfast. If I want the body I never had, I have to start eating like I never have.  And if that means choking down breakfast every day...so be it.

- Dinner is my last meal of the day.  Period.  I don't have a specific time I must be finished.  But when I am done, I am done.  This eliminates the 9PM kitchen search.  Nobody makes good choices after 9PM.  That rule applies to pretty much anything...not just food.

And here's the biggest change I have made so far.

Every morning before I get out of bed, I pray.  It goes something like this.  "God, without you I am going to screw this up. Let's keep that from happening today."

Every night before I go to sleep, I pray.  "Thank you God for getting me through today.  Also I really appreciate how you helped me not eat those Totinos Pizza Rolls.  I know I should not have even had those in the house much less cooked a giant pan of them.  Thank you for being bigger than all my stupid."

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Resolved 2013


So it looks like another week without one good idea for Bible Tuesday. 

This is gettin on my nerves.

But it's a good time to tell you about my New Year's  resolution.  You ready?

I am going to read one non-fiction book per month.  (Said book cannot be Christian living or weight loss related.)  I'm thinking history, biography, etc.  This is a big deal for me.  I'm not a fan of real life. 

It's January 22 and I have not read or even picked out what book I am reading first. 

Welcome to my world.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Glutton - Part 21


I don't think more is the answer.

For instance, I have a really nice smartphone.  It has amazing capabilities.   Know what I use it for?  I make calls. I check my email, Facebook and Twitter.  Occasionally,  I play solitaire while waiting on the kids.  That's it.  That is probably ten percent of what my phone is capable of doing.

We subscribe to  cable on demand, Netflix, Hulu plus, and a Roku. That probably equals thousands of programs I could watch at any hour of the day or night.  In reality though, we rarely watch more than one or two programs a day.  We are not TV snobs.  We love TV.  But by the time we collapse on the couch for the night, its 9pm and we are too exhausted to search out the vast entertainment possibilities available to us.

For the glutton, more is the enemy of enough.  

I don't need a complicated plan.  Because clearly when things get overwhelming and complex, I revert to my default...which is doughnuts.

So what does enough look like?

For me it looks like this.

1. Reasonable exercise expectations.  
I am not going to do P90x.  I am not going to the gym 9 times a week.  Why set myself up for failure?  I am going to move.  Perhaps it will be a walk?  Or carrying forty loads of laundry up the stairs?  Maybe I will ride one of the kids' bikes (when no one is home and my neighbors aren't watching).  But regardless, I am.gonna stop.beating myself up.  That's one exercise I am totally over.

2. Reasonable supplements. 
I

3. Reasonable amounts of water.  
I am not going to start carrying a gallon jug around with me.   Also I still hate water but I also hate PTO meetings but I still go every once in a while so clearly I CAN do stuff I hate.

4.  The Scale
I'm done with the scale...for now.  For one, I don't think it's an accurate measurement of anything.  And let's face it.  I let that machine define me.  I let it decide whether I am having a good or bad day.  No more.

4.  Food. 
Obviously this is the big one.  I am going to start easy here.  I am going to eat...food.  As in things that are recognizable as food.  Not things that comes in a box.  Does this cover every bad food I struggle with? Nope.  But it does simplify my food  philosophy.  Yes I will tweak this as I go but, for now, this is the simplest way for me to fix a good 85% of my pitfalls.

So there it is.