Glutton - Part 28

Let's talk about Ruby.

Did you ever watch that show?  It aired on the style network for 3 or 4 seasons. Ruby weighed over 700 pounds.  She lost a massive amount of weight over a three year period and was down to around 370 during the last season.  The show did a lot of things right (in my humble opinion).  They tried to address the psychological root of obesity with as much (or more) vigor as they did the physical causes.  In some ways, the show was the complete opposite of The Biggest Loser.  But the end result was the same.  Ruby began regaining weight.  And she tried to hide it but eventually the producers figured it out and cancelled the show. Fast forward two years.  Ruby now has a Facebook page and is using Visalus weight loss shakes.  She is down 20 pounds lower than her lowest weight from the tv show.  If you were a gambler, how much would you bet on Ruby maintaining this success?

Let me say this.  I love Ruby (as much as you can love someone you have never met.)  All her struggles break me into pieces because I have walked that same road.  (Right down to those stinkin Visalus shakes.)  I want her to succeed.  I want me to succeed. But what good is success if it can't be maintained?  I am not trying to be cynical here.  I am crazy desperate for an answer.

Having gained after a big weight loss something like 8 times, I feel Ruby's pain. And all the others who are in this big fat boat with me. Because you as a thin person just cannot understand. You can't imagine why we didn't respond to all that positive feedback you gave us. Didn't you compliment our new wardrobe? Didn't you applaud our motivation to eat nothing at every celebration for months? Weeks? Years?  How could we possibly get fat again? 

Good Lord, I wish I knew the answer.

Seeing someone for the first time after a regain is the worst. The look in their eyes. The way they seem ashamed for you. It just assaults your soul. You want to tell them how it happened. You want to explain that you never intended to be back in these fat pants. But you know they won't believe you. So you smile. You make a joke. You pretend. And you promise yourself that the next time...

Because that's all we have. 
The next time. 
Tomorrow. 
Someday.