Bible Tuesday - David Part 7

I am getting impatient with David.  There are all these big, awesome stories coming up just chock full of stuff I want to talk about.  But right now, David is still just running for his life.  He is no closer to being king than he was last week.  Honestly, if I didn't know how the story ends, I might start to believe that this king thing is never going to happen.  And this is one of the big reasons David was a man after God's own heart.  He believed God.  Period.  He was not impatient.  He doesn't stamp his feet and throw a tantrum.  He doesn't demand that God move according to David's timetable.


³ And he came to the sheepfolds by the way, where there was a cave, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the innermost parts of the cave. ⁴ And the men of David said to him, “Here is the day of which the Lord said to you, ‘Behold, I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it shall seem good to you.’” Then David arose and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul's robe. ⁵ And afterward David's heart struck him, because he had cut off a corner of Saul's robe. ⁶ He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord's anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord's anointed.” ⁷ So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul. And Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way.

1 Samuel 24:3-7

Let me ask you a question.  If God had anointed you King and the current King , who is hunting you down to kill you, just happened to stop in the very cave you were hiding in to 'relieve himself', wouldn't you take that as a big old sign from God that it was time for you do some king-killin?

It seems David's men agreed with me on this one. But David (who was anointed himself) was absolutely sure that God did not want him to kill Saul.  And hear me on this, we are talking about wars and battles here.  Not just straight up murder so calm down. 

It's not uncommon for people to excuse any behavior by using God's call on their life as a justification.  Yeah, it's goofy.  But people do it all the time.  For example, my ex-husband's wife thinks that God has always intended for them to be together for the purpose of the 'ministry' that they are 'called' to.  Therefore, any and all sin they committed to get there is ok. And the big problem with that, other than the fact that it is really stupid, is that the idea supposes that God needs us.  Spoiler Alert!  He doesn't.  God never has to manipulate man to subvert His own rules in order to carry out His will.  He's God. Forgetting that leads to lots of trouble. 

But David never forgot.  It is hard to accept that God's plan may involve our personal suffering but David does.  He often asks "Why?" (most notably in the Psalms) but he never questions God authority to write the story.  That kind of total submission ain't easy folks.

And David said to Saul, “Why do you listen to the words of men who say, ‘Behold, David seeks your harm’? ¹⁰ Behold, this day your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hand in the cave. And some told me to kill you, but I spared you. I said, ‘I will not put out my hand against my lord, for he is the Lord's anointed.’ ¹¹ See, my father, see the corner of your robe in my hand. For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you hunt my life to take it. ¹² May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.

1Samuel 24:9-12

David is trying real hard here to get Saul to be reasonable. If you have ever dealt with someone who is mentally unstable, you know this is probably not gonna end well.

As soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, “Is this your voice, my son David?”

Is this dude for real?  'My son'?  Seriously?

And Saul lifted up his voice and wept. ¹⁷ He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. ¹⁸ And you have declared this day how you have dealt well with me, in that you did not kill me when the Lord put me into your hands. ¹⁹ For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safe? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day. ²⁰ And now, behold, I know that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand. ²¹ Swear to me therefore by the Lord that you will not cut off my offspring after me, and that you will not destroy my name out of my father's house.” ²² And David swore this to Saul. Then Saul went home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.

1Samuel 24:16-22

So Saul is real, real sorry about that whole "hunting you down and trying to kill you" stuff.  But here's the best part.  David is not buying this apology.  A man after God's own heart is not dumb.  He recognizes that Saul is unstable and returns to his stronghold. 

It's important to understand here that being good to people does not entail having to be a part of their nonsense.  Forgive?  Sure.  Pack up and move back to crazy town with them?  Nope. 

Superior Girls

A few weeks ago, Anna and Savannah performed at the Solo and Ensemble festival for choir.

They both scored superior ratings!!!

Yay!!!

CSA - Week One

So here's what this week's 'mini-share' looked like.

It seemed like a good amount to me but I had nothing to judge it by.  The farm lady told us that as the season progressed, the boxes would become more overfilled. 

The funniest part was I could not identify half the stuff in the box at first glance.  See those green things in the top left?  I though they were some kind of herb?  Guess what they were?

Carrots!!!  

I don't think I have seen carrots in that form since the last time I watched Bugs Bunny.

Then there was this unholy trinity.

Katie googled them for me and we learned they were kohlrabi, beets and onion.

Here's my question.  Does anybody like beets?  I mean really?  I know most people would eat them if they were starving but, other than that, are people out there licking their lips in anticipation of a big ole plate of beets?

I saved the best for last.

These strawberries were as good as Jen said they would be.  They are about 1/4 of the size of normal supermarket berries, but the flavor has no comparison.  I would like to tell you I made some fantastic recipe using these but, the truth is, the kids ate them as fast as I could wash them. 

I used the broccoli from our share by making this recipe.



One large head of broccoli shrinks up to this size when using this recipe but Lordy...this is so good.

The same recipe works with cauliflower too.  Seriously, make this soon and often.  I would never steer you wrong when it comes to food. 

Quoted

The undefeated God is fighting for you right now.

- Steven Furtick


Has anyone seen my shoutin' shoes?

Bible Tuesday - David Part 6

When we left David last week, he was still running from Saul.  This is gonna go on for quite a while. Our boy David was a Renaissance man before that phrase even existed.  So even though he is running, camping and just generally trying not to get murdered, he still had time to write a few Psalms.  Like this:

Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me,

for in you I take refuge. 

I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings

until the disaster has passed.

I cry out to God Most High,

    to God, who vindicates me. 

He sends from heaven and saves me, 

    rebuking those who hotly pursue me— 

    God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.

I am in the midst of lions; 

    I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—

men whose teeth are spears and arrows,

    whose tongues are sharp swords.

Psalm 57

or this:

I cry aloud to the Lord;

    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. 

 I pour out before him my complaint; 

    before him I tell my trouble.

 When my spirit grows faint within me,

    it is you who watch over my way.

In the path where I walk

    people have hidden a snare for me.

 Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;

    no one is concerned for me.

I have no refuge; 

    no one cares for my life.

Psalm 142

This is pretty much what I would expect from someone in David's position.  He's scared, sad and desperate.  But David also wrote this Psalm around the same time.

I will extol the Lord at all times; 

    his praise will always be on my lips.

 I will glory in the Lord;

    let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 

 Glorify the Lord with me;

    let us exalt his name together.

Psalm 34

I think this is a really important piece of the puzzle we are trying to assemble regarding David.  This Psalm, written at this time, tells us that David knew that loving God was a full-time job.  How many people do you know that would respond to fear, pain and hardship by praising God?  But David doesn't even present this as a choice but rather as his natural reaction to whatever situation God places him in.

Memo from Mama

Dear girls,

We just saw The Lucky One.  You loved it...because you are young teenagers and you don't know any better.  I didn't hate it but it did amuse me.  In this movie, Zac Efron is a Iraqi War veteran who walks from Colorado to Louisiana (of course he did) to find a woman from a picture that he felt saved his life.  A guardian angel if you will.  When he finally meets her, she is a plucky single mom.  Why are all single moms in the movies plucky?  What does plucky even mean?

Anyway, this guardian angel mom has, (surprise, surprise) one young son.  Single movie moms always have one young son.  He is precocious and adorable and he always instantly bonds with the love interest.  Not once does the little boy stomp upstairs screaming "You are NOT my dad!".

I know you are far too young to understand how ridiculous these romances are.  And that's ok.  You will learn soon enough.  But I hope that one day you will realize that you watched a great love story unfold right in your own home.  I hope you will know that a a man who will take on three little girls who were often not adorable is the real romantic hero.  I hope you won't take the amount of love that was necessary to sustain this goofy blended family for granted.

And above all, I want you to always remember that your mama was the lucky one.

CSA Friday

A few years ago, Kevin and I read The Omnivore's Dilemna and watched Food, Inc.  We became convinced that the corporate food producers were desperate to kill us...slowly.  So we have tried, since then, to make rational changes to life to try to mitigate that assumption.  We are definitely still part of the problem but we have made some progress.  We rarely eat fast food anymore.  (If you still eat fast food daily, I really don't care.  For us it was more of a "How can it cost 30 bucks to eat at McDonald's?" kinda deal.) Sonic and Chik-fil-A still get frequented but I consider eating at Chik-fil-A to be part of my tithe and Sonic is...well it's just too dang good to give up.  There.  I said it.

We buy organic when we can but I spend so much at the grocery store already, 8 dollar blueberries are rarely in my budget.  We still consume a lot of junk and I'm not proud of that but there is no point in lying about it either.  For the past three years I have been investigating Community Shared Agriculture.  There are many more available now and they are convenient for just about everyone.  That being said, all I ever did was research.  I never got beyond that step.  But this year, my new neighbor/buddy did all the legwork and found Doe Run Farms.  It looks like a pretty standard vegetable CSA but they also offer a Food Lover's share that can include fruit and...wait for it...cheese.  I wrote the check fast for this deal. 

My friend Jen is also doing a CSA and she is going to blog about it here.  I am really looking forward to seeing what she does with her share.  She is also part of a meat CSA and I am seething with white hot jealousy.  So, if you want to read well thought out posts about fresh food, go read Jen's blog.  If you want to read endless posts filled with statements such as "Might try to deep fry a radish.", then, by all means, read here too.  I'll try to get something posted every Friday but my good intentions often go awry so don't plan your life around it or anything.

Help Wanted

I need a best friend.


I am lucky to have a few great friends.  But all of my friends have a best friend and it ain’t me.  I am the perpetual first runner up of friendships.  If, for any reason, those best friends cannot fulfill their duties, I totally get to step in.  But, honestly, most of the best friends of my good friends are pretty awesome so the chance of taking any of their places is pretty slim. 

The thing is, once high school is over, it’s pretty hard to find a best friend.  I got really excited when I found out that Kevin’s new endocrinologist was a woman.  A doc.  New in town,  She was probably desperate for a best friend, right?  I told him to just casually mention that his wife was interviewing best friend candidates and he refused.  You know why?  Because he’s mean.  That’s why.

So clearly I am going to have to go this alone.  So here are a few of the requirements:

1.       I need to like your husband.  I don’t need to LOVE him but he needs to NOT be a butthole.  Here’s why.  I am a horrible liar so, if we are best friends and your husband is a butthole, eventually I am gonna mention that…loudly.  Assuming you don’t think he is a butthole (and seriously, why did you marry him?) that is probably gonna come between us.

2.     You can’t be bugging me all the time.  I gotta lot of laundry to do.

3.     You call me.  I won’t call you.  Lemme explain.  I suffer from severely diminished self esteem.  I won’t call you because I assume that you are too busy to talk to me.  I think everyone is too busy to talk to me.  Don’t take it personally.  My husband and I dated for two years and I only initiated phone calls to him three times.  But (and this is important) I will alwas answer when you call me.  Unless I am busy in which case I will call you back later.

4.       I ain’t babysitting.  This rule can be bent in case of illness or funeral attendance.  But don’t push it. On the other hand, I will force my daughters to babysit for you at any time.

5.      I can’t be going out of town or to girl’s night outs.  They sound fun. And one day, maybe.  But right now, it ain't happenin.  


Here's what you get in return.


1.  I will hate all the people you hate.  No questions asked.  Your foresworn enemy will be mine. And I will help you plot revenge against them assuming it is carried out in a nice, Christian way.


2.  I will be there for you in your time of need and I will bring a mop.  Nothing soothes in a crisis like a shiny clean toilet bowl or a sparkling, shiny sink.   


3.  My husband could probably fix your computer for you.  He doesn't have time to do it but he COULD.


4. I will help you decorate for Christmas every year.  (Unless you want to put stuff up high.  I suck at ladders.)


5.  I will give you all my old magazines in a timely manner.  


If two worthy applicants prsent themselves, I will settle this as all things should be settled.

DANCE OFF!!!

Quoted

Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.

- Thomas Watson

Bible Tuesday - David Part 5

David asked Ahimelek, “Don’t you have a spear or a sword here? I haven’t brought my sword or any other weapon, because the king’s mission was urgent.”
The priest replied, “The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of Elah, is here; it is wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want it, take it; there is no sword here but that one.”
David said, “There is none like it; give it to me.”

1 Samuel 21: 8-9

David is running from Saul...again.
He's hungry. He's scared. He's falsely accused. He has no weapon.
The boy has had better days.

I will keep this deal short.


Ya'll, sometimes God will give you the weapon that was once used against you.

Book Review - Mission Compromised

Friends...

I aim to keep it real around here.  And because of that I must tell you of my humiliation at book club.

Oh Lordy.

So here's the backstory.  I am in a book club with some women that I LOVE. (This affection will be important later.) I happened to miss the last meeting due to some sick kid or other.  Attending that meeting would have been very beneficial.  Hindsight's 20/20 ya'll.

This month's book was

Ok, now clearly I am going into a book by Oliver North with a bad attitude.  I admit that. But I was actually excited to see what he had to say.  Ok, that's a lie.  I totally dreaded it but I joined this club to make myself read different stuff and this was surely different and did I mention that I LOVE these gals?  So I tried to read it. 

Here's the first problem.  There's a glossary.  Seriously.  North uses so many military acronyms that the book requires a four page glossary.  Here are a few examples:

AMCITS - That means "American Citizens"   How hard is it to just say "American Citizens"?

OPSEC - Operational security.  Again.  This book is over 600 pages.  Clearly brevity was not the goal here. North couldn't just say "Operational Security"?

Also, Ollie (that's what his friends call him) uses quotation marks more than Doctor Evil.

For instance, at one point, the main character says his wife entered the house through what they called the 'side door'.  Does that really need quotation marks?  Side door?  Is that not an accepted term that people the world over use every day? He also uses the marks on every cliche that he includes.  Look Mr North, we know you did not come up with the phrase 'the straw that broke the camel's back', quotes really weren't necessary.  Also, cliches aren't necessary.  Just sayin.

Then North writes himself into his own book.  I don't mean a character loosely based upon him.  I mean Oliver North is a character in the book.  And there are secret files, and secret meetings and , oh yeah, there are documents that clear his name but his morality will not allow him to use them because they are property of the United States Government.  Right.  Whatever.  And just so you know, Oliver North has way higher morals than me because if I was about to be convicted of multiple felonies, I would use any and all means to clear my name especially if I happened to be innocent. 

I must admit that I didn't finish the book.  I wanted to but my health was at risk due to my elevated blood pressure each time I encountered another 'liberal' character that North had turned into a caricature or some long diatribe about the Limoges teacups and silver carafes at the fancy pants, commie led United Nations.  It really is possible to disagree with people politically without being a bully.  Trust me.  I do it all the time.

So I headed to book club.  I had no intention of arguing with anyone.  (I knew from the pre-meeting emails that most of them LOVED the book.) But I did feel like I should mention my problems with the goofy stuff that I listed earlier.  I sit down and launch into my deal.  The woman across from me reacts in horror to my first (mild) criticism.  Luckily her reaction made me realize something bigger was going on here so I quickly drank a big glass of "Shut Up".  (See what I did there?  Those quotes were necessary.)

Also, as an aside to my only book club buddy who actually reads this blog, I would like to think that if I hadn't shut up, you would have faked a heart attack or acute diarrhea in order to save me from myself.  I would do the same for you if the situation warranted.

As I continued to listen to the discussion, a horrible realization washed over me.  "Wait a minute." I said.  "YOU edited this book?!?!"  The lady across from me smiled and said "Yes" while flipping to the acknowledgements section and showing me the paragraph written to her and her husband by North.  (Note to self.  START READING THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SECTION!)  She then proceeded to tell me that they count Oliver and his wife as some of their closest friends.  See, if I hadn't missed the last meeting, I would have known all this.

So what have we learned here?

1. Oliver North is a true patriot and don't you forget it.

2. Missing even one book club meeting is bad.  Very, very bad.



Quoted - Tozer Edition

"We are sent to bless the world, but we are never told to compromise with it."

AW Tozer

Good grief. I need to tattoo this on the inside of my eyelids.

Book Review - Calico Joe

Three things I know about John Grisham.  If he writes a book that doesn't involve lawyers, it's gonna be short, it's gonna be about sports and it's gonna be good.

Full disclosure here.  I know nothing about baseball.  I am guessing that John Grisham does.  He was probably one of those little boys that collected cards and memorized stats for every player.  His love for the game and it's players really shines in this book.  And even though I could care less about baseball, I really enjoy how much Grisham admires the game.

Calico Joe is the story of one pitch.  The narrator, Paul Tracey, is the adult son of the pitcher that ended the short career of Joe Castle.  Joe had a meteoric rise through the ranks of minor league baseball.  When he is brought up to play with the Cubs, he breaks records and causes major league excitement both for fans and his small home town.  Warren Tracey is a washed up pitcher for the Mets.  He is mean.  Both to his family and his teammates.  He throws the ball that almost kills Joe and ends his career.

Calico Joe is the story of how adults deal with the sins of their parents.  It's about forgiveness and redemption and the lack thereof. 

Bible Tuesday - David Part 4

And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him...
1 Samuel 18:5

David has killed Goliath and sent the Philistines running.  He is still the annointed yet uncrowned King of Israel.  Just after this big victory, Saul's son, Jonathan, and David become friends.  They are serious BFFs and Saul keeps David at the palace with him full time.  It appears that David's shepherd days are over.

But then,

When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals.  This was their song:

“Saul has killed his thousands,
and David his ten thousands!”

 This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!”  So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.

1 Samuel 18:6-9

I feel pretty confident that Saul was bipolar.  And the next few stories shore up my supposition.  Basically Saul has a fit and when David tries to calm him down, Saul tries to kill him.  This won't be the last attempt at murder.  Saul is described as being afraid and jealous of David.  This is a bad combination for any relationship. 

By the next chapter, Saul is giving his daughter, Michal, to David for a wife.  He makes him commander of the army.  I can't believe that David thought any of this was going to go well given Saul's erratic mental stability.

When Saul realized that the Lord was with David and how much his daughter Michal loved him, Saul became even more afraid of him, and he remained David’s enemy for the rest of his life.

1 Samuel 18: 28-29

But the important thing, for me, about this transitional period is that David never once says, "This dude is crazy and I am the real king anyway!"  That's what I would have done.  The people loved David.  He was a young, handsome hero.  Do you really think he would have had any problems deposing Saul? 

 But David wasn't listening to the opinions of men.  I can only imagine that during each of these situations, God was telling David over and over "Not yet." And every time God said "Not Yet", David said "OK." 

Quoted

Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be.

- Charles Spurgeon