Glutton - Part 24

Can we talk about the birthday cake?

That cake taunted me. Cake is like my abusive ex - boyfriend.  I know it's wrong.  I know it will hurt me.  I know the whole deal will end badly.  But it just feels so good. 

So despite myself, we had a great celebration meal. The whole evening was just fun. I ate the foods I planned to have and was absolutely satisfied.  I served piece after piece of that delicious cake to my friends and family.  I even served them ice cream to go with it.  And ya'll...I hardly hated their guts at all for being able to eat it.

But then everyone left and I was alone in the kitchen...with the cake.  This scenario has ended badly for me approximately 743 times in the past.  I rinsed off plate after plate of cake.  Most of the kids had wasted their piece.  Just whole buttercream roses left abandoned on their plate.  It caused me physical pain to wash those delicacies down the drain.  But I did it.  And so finally the kitchen was clean and I had no other recourse but to face the cake.

I wanted that cake so bad. ( And, yes, I am ashamed to admit that I think about cake this much.  But my goal here is freedom and personal embarrassment is a small price to pay.)

And wanting that cake taught me an interesting lesson.  You see I was completely full from my meal.  I was not, in the least, hungry.  My appetite was wholly satisfied.  But my desire for that cake was completely unrelated to my appetite. 

How often do we allow desire to destroy us?  How much have we ruined in our lives by allowing things we want to overshadow what we need and , more often than not, what we already have?

In the end, I prevailed.  I ate no cake.  And you know what?  I have made peace with the fact that I may never lose my desire for buttercream roses.  But giving in to every desire is just bondage disguised as personal fulfillment.

So if you are keeping score.  It's birthday cake - 743   Rachel - 1