Glutton - Part 17

Food is not drugs.

Food is not alcohol.

And as much as I want to link all these addictions together, in the end, I can't.  Because while the mechanics of all addiction are the same, recovery from food addiction has to be different. 

Hello, my name is Rachel and I am addicted to food. 

But abstinence from food is just not an option.  (It's not an option, right?)

I have to learn to live between the lines. 

But learning to live in moderation is scary.  You see I can do all.  I can do nothing.  But modulating those extremes?  That’s unchartered territory for me.  The mountain or the valley?  When the truth is that most of life is lived on the plain. 

But I had this theory.  What if I planned for failure and called it victory? 

Here's what that looks like.

I faced Halloween knowing I would eat tootsie rolls.  And guess what?   I ate tootsie rolls.  But I didn’t eat them in shame.  And I didn’t eat them while simultaneously planning how much exercise would be needed to work them off.  I just ate the dang candy. I ate it in front of my friends and my children.  Like a normal person eats candy on Halloween.  It was so weird.   And for the first time in my life I woke up on November 1^st and I felt great.   

I tried it again on Thanksgiving.  I have a deep and everlasting love for cornbread dressing.  (Only my mom's recipe.  Not whatever crap they slop together on the Food Network that involves chestnuts, sausage or , God help me, oysters.)   There is zero chance of me making it through Thanksgiving without eating it.  This year, I ate that dressing without a shred of guilt.  And you know what?  I was really thankful.

So now I embark on the Christmas holiday.  In addition to my mental preparedness, I am actually making better practical decisions too.  I am preparing stocking stuff that involves less candy.  This is always a big problem for me.  Tons of candy my kids won't eat that I, in the interest of not being wasteful, must eat for them.  My kids will be thrilled to have less sugar (not none...less) and more iTunes gift cards.  This is going to be a win/win situation.

And because I must 'keep it real', I will admit to those of you that never see me that all these great breakthroughs for the last few months have resulted in about 2 pounds of total fat loss.  At this rate, I will reach my goal about the time I can draw Social Security  benefits.  But I can feel the weight of gluttony getting lighter every day.