Wherein I (finally) get real - Glutton Prologue

Prologue

I am about to celebrate my 39th birthday.  I’m not scared of that number or really any number after that.  As long as God allows me to continue, I am happy to wrinkle and sag with a sense of humour.

But there is a number that breaks my heart.

25

That's how many years I have been on a diet.  For those of you who actually know me, you must be thinking  “Wow, you must really suck at dieting.”  But the truth is that I am awesome at dieting.  I suck at not being on a diet.  I know the calorie, carb and fat content of 75% of the food produced on Earth.  I can name vitamins and minerals you probably have never heard of.  (And chances are I have bought most of them too.  Thanks Amazon.com!!!)  I have spent literal years of my life on stationary bikes, in aerobics classes, and whatever other exercise you can imagine.  (Remember the Thighmaster?  Yep.  I owned one.) 

And two and a half decades later, I am smarter, sadder and way fatter than I was when I started.  And there is a very simple reason for that.

I am a glutton.

Dear God that word is so hard. I would almost rather admit to being a thief or a liar because those sins are culturally forgivable. Modern society has no mercy for the glutton.

I preach to anyone who will listen that Christ is the answer.  That any problem you have can be solved by the freedom provided by His love and sacrifice.  But I live every day in bondage of my own making. 

 And so clearly there is a lot to say.  I don’t know how long it will take.  Maybe months.  Maybe years.  And you may not want to read it.  And I don’t blame you.  But is it possible you might be a glutton too?  Do you buy too much?  Watch too much TV?  Obsess over a specific person/relationship?

The sin of gluttony is not overeating.  It is idolatry.  Gluttony is a way of saying “God, you are not enough.”  The sentence breaks me into a million pieces.  But my life proves it everyday.

But here is my only attempt at an excuse.

-         I am a food addict.  You may not believe that people can be addicted to food.  My friend Jen has done a great job discussing food addiction on her blog here.  Go read it and then come back.  If you are still not convinced, we’ll just have to agree to disagree. But trust me on this, I am like the Robert Downey Jr of food addiction.  Unfortunately, I am not addicted to broccoli or carrots.  I am addicted to sugar and flour.  (DO NOT start with me about healthy whole grains, we will argue about that later.)

That’s my excuse and it’s legitimate.  But my addiction does not negate my personal responsibility.  I know how sugar and flour affect me.  (And I am not just talking about my fat butt.) These products literally cause physical and mental side effects that you probably won’t believe.

I have no idea how to fix this.  But this I know.  Sin cannot be forgiven until it is confessed. 

And so I finally reached the end of my rope.

And God was waiting there for me.

And I am guessing He wondered what took me so long.