Genesis
It seems reasonable that looking back to where all my weight issues began could be helpful. When it comes to weight loss, I have always been a
cliché. Tried everything, succeeded
seldom, failed often. And no matter how
hard I try I cannot remember ever being satisfied. Which, I believe is the key to my whole
affliction.
I was always chubby as a child. Not ‘Maury Povich guest’ chubby but
overweight nonetheless. I can’t remember
an age when I didn’t think about my weight.
I’m sure there was a time but it is
beyond the reach of my memory.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my mother was
in a pretty bad car accident. Throughout
that year, she suffered through many surgeries and a very difficult
recovery. She began to sink into
clinical depression and sought the help of a psychiatrist. That doctor told her that she was depressed
because she was fat. No, really.
My mother had never had a weight problem. She is one of those people who fascinates
me. She eats until she is full and then
stops…even if she likes what she is eating.
She had, in fact, gained weight after her accident due mostly to the massive
doses of steroid medicines that she had been taking. The psychiatrist prescribed Slimfast. This happened in the late eighties. Slimfast was a fairly new product. My mom dutifully drank her shake for
breakfast, shake for lunch and then ate a sensible dinner. She lost weight. In hindsight I realize she probably would
have lost the weight naturally after the steroids were out of her system. Nevertheless, her doctor pronounced her
cured.
The ramification of this period in our life was huge
though. It was the time when I
discovered THE DIET. I don't mean any specific plan or product. I mean the actual concept of restricting food in some way. Up until that
point, I really had no idea what people did to lose weight. Weight loss was not yet the big business that
it is today. The media was not saturated
with diet pills, plans and scams the same way it is now.
By the last month of the school year, I began
sneaking my mother’s SlimFast shakes. I was the
first one up each morning. I would make
a shake and guzzle it down before catching the school bus. I went through the school day subsisting on
nothing but Diet Coke. I skipped lunch
and then devoured another shake as soon as I got home in the afternoon. I meticulously cleaned the blender after each
use so no one would know what I was doing.
Why did I feel the need to hide?
After all these years, I still do not know.
At the beginning of the summer, my mom found out my
secret. She wasn’t mad. To my astonishment, she seemed thrilled. She bought me several different flavors of
SlimFast powder and a Lean Cuisine meal of my choosing for every day of the
week.
My first diet. Two shakes a day plus a frozen diet meal for
dinner. 700 calories a day. Virtually no fat. Just as a point of reference, during the holocaust, Jews in concentration camps were given around 800 calories a day.
The only thing I remember about that summer
is being hungry…all the time. I lost 30
pounds in three months. I was getting
positive attention from everyone including (finally) boys. I learned that hunger (starving) created positive
results. It was a lesson that would
cause ridiculous amounts of damage to me for the next 25 years.