Mama

My mom has cancer.

About a month ago, after having some issues, a CT scan showed a large malignant mass in her kidney. Last Thursday they removed the whole kidney. The doctors seem very optimistic. The surgery went well. The malignancy was very contained and there are no signs that it has spread to any other parts of her body. She won't even have to have chemo or radiation.

And, frankly, this whole business has scared the ever lovin tweet outta me.

After the diagnosis, I reacted pretty well. It seemed like the best scenario for a bad situation. Honestly, if you are gonna have to lose an organ, it's pretty awesome when you have a spare. I knew the recovery would be long and painful for her but I felt that was a small price to pay in the long run.

Her surgery started about an hour later than they planned. Having worked closely with hospital ORs during my time at Vandy, this wasn't surprising at all. About thirty of my family members were with my dad and I in the waiting room. (My dad is one of 12 siblings and my mom is one of 9 so our extended family is ridiculously large.) Things were actually pretty enjoyable until they called for the immediate family about two hours into what was supposed to be a four hour surgery.

The funny part of this scenario is that all 30 members stood up when the nurse called for immediate family. They aren't stupid, they just really believe that they should be included in that group no matter how distantly related they are. Two of my aunts fully believe that since they married my mother's brothers before I was even born that they take precedence over me. It's a pretty good argument actually.

The not funny part is that, at that moment, I was convinced that something had gone terribly wrong during surgery. I have a lot of experience with surgeons. Finishing early is not something that they normally do. I walked down that long hospital corridor convinced that they were going to tell me my mother had passed away. I know so many people who have lost their mamas too soon. (Too soon is anytime before your mother is 100 and you are 75 to 80.) I admire their ability to go on with their life but I know that for every one of them, not a day goes by that they don't mourn. All of those people flashed through my mind as I waited for the doctor.

The surgery actually had gone so 'textbook' as the surgeon explained that they had finished way ahead of schedule. My mom was going to be fine...eventually. She has a long recovery ahead. She is in a ridiculous amount of pain. (You don't wanna know how deep an incicision must be made to get to a kidney. Let's just say her bikini days are over.) The challenge ahead for me is trying to balance helping her and keeping this house together. Right now I am failing miserably on both fronts. But I'm not complaining. I am rejoicing.