Glutton - Part 20

Like any archaeological dig, the deeper you go, the more you uncover.  My journey is not so different.  I began with the supposition that my sin was gluttony.  And it definitely was.  But then I began to see that another sin was my inability to be satisfied with the things God provided for me. That one is still true also.

But ya'll... I just stumbled onto the King Tut's tomb of sin in my life.  Here's what I found when I went to clean out my kitchen cabinets.

 

I am a straight up idolater and you are looking at the altar where I worship. Because all these vitamins, supplements and whatever prove one thing:

 

I don't really trust God to get me out of this mess that I have made. 

The shame of that is so big.  Because I never thought that would be true.  I talk a really good game.  Most of the time, I actually believe what I say.  But as I look back on my actions it's clear that every day of my life, I have been saying "God, I don't think you can handle this."


And this stuff is from just ONE cabinet in my home. This is where I have placed my trust.  In Dr Oz (God help me!), and GNC and any other entity that will sell me hope in a bottle. (And please understand that I am not saying there is anything wrong with supplements.  I am a big believer in complementary medicine.) But, you see, I am looking for redemption in a magic fiber pill.  That's not just sinful.   It's downright stupid. 

And yeah, throwing this stuff away is certainly a step in the right direction.  But ya'll, the Israelites tore down their altars and cut down their Asherah poles every time they got a King who changed his mind.  And it wasn't long until they would just build them back up.  I can throw away a dumpster load of pills every week and it won't make a bit of difference until I change my heart.

Even as I was planning this purge, I got an email advertising a 'cleanse".  (In my defense, it was from a meal planning site...not a diet one.  It should have been a 'safe zone")  Like any addict,  I started justifying it immediately.  "It's just a cleanse!  It's for my health, not weight loss!  The world is so toxic!  Wouldn't it be great just to get a fresh start?" 

You see, even after I come to a place of trusting God to deliver, I'm still holding back.

When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”
Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!”
Luke 5:12-13

It's not enough any more for me to believe that God can heal me.  I have always believed that.  I have to accept that he is willing to fix what I have broken.