Abstinence

I've been thinking a lot about abstinence lately. No, I'm not planning to ever practice it again thank you very much but recent news stories keep bringing it up. First, Bristol Palin thinks abstinence education works even though she chose to ignore it. I can tell that Bristol is gonna be a true Republican because she's already well versed in the "Do as I say, not as I do" lingo. The simple, undisputed fact is that abstinence education does nothing to keep teens from having sex. Trust me on this. I could find the supporting data for you but I'm too tired right now.

I wish it did work. I don't think teens should be having sex. I especially don't think my teens should have sex. My opinion doesn't stem from my religious beliefs alone. I just think that teenage girls generally don't think enough of themselves to make the best choices. That doesn't mean that they are stupid. I just believe that girls like to please boys. (It's true. Even violent feminists will agree.) And I believe that most teen sex is initiated by boys and agreed to by girls. Do I wish all my kids could be virgins on their wedding night? Absolutely. Do I think that's going to happen? Not really. I can't control every aspect of their behavior. But I can make sure that they understand that sex was created by God for us to enjoy. (Honestly people, God could have created a pleasure-free way of procreating. He chose not to and I, for one, am glad.) It wasn't intended to be this shame filled nonsense that it has become. It wasn't intended to be a tool to make sure your boyfriend doesn't break up with you.

I'm also concerned about these 'super-purity' stories I am seeing more and more. A few Sundays ago, The Tennessean ran a story about a woman who was not only a virgin on her wedding day, she 'saved' her first kiss for the ceremony. Where the hell did this idea even start? These are your new and improved Pharisees at work. They will take a biblical principle that was hard enough to begin with and add to it so they can make sure we sinners can see just how dedicated they really are. To this I say...Bite me. Did you notice that the article doesn't mention her husband and his purity. I assure you that nowhere in the Bible does it say "Men - whore around all you want but make sure you marry a virgin."

The danger, in my opinion, is that we elevate a girl's 'purity' to an unnatural level of importance. What if she makes a mistake and has sex with her loser boyfriend when she is 16? According to this mindset, she's damaged goods. Since she has no virginity left to protect, she may as well just continue to have sex with any and all goobers that she encounters in high school and beyond. But, what would happen if we taught our daughters to protect their heart and their integrity instead of being solely focused on their virginity? What if we convinced them that their value was based upon so much more than some random idea of purity? What if they believed us?