English Breakfast

Kevin was determined that I should experience a ‘proper’ English breakfast. I had been doing quite well skipping breakfast each day but he enticed me with tales of French yogurt. We sat down at the hotel restaurant. They brought coffee. So far. So good. How bad could a breakfast be if there is coffee and French yogurt? I was about to find out…ugh.

First, take a moment to gaze on that tomato...you don't see it? It's the round, shriveled, orange looking thing near the top of the plate. I don't even want to know what in hell one has to do to get a tomato to look like that. Moving on...the baked beans, WTF?!? I really try to be respectful of cultural differences but those beans slopped all over my plate made me pretty much never want to eat breakfast again. I ordered scrambled eggs because I didn’t notice they had eggs benedict until it was too late and, also, I figured it would be pretty hard to screw up scrambled eggs. I figured wrong. They made a sound when I cut into them. Scrambled eggs should not make noise. Silence should be the hallmark of scrambled eggs. The sausage and bacon were weird but edible. The hashbrown was an enigma. I didn’t even recognize it as a hashbrown. I thought it might be burned toast. Burned toast would have tasted better.




I think this dining experience cost about 80 dollars. Seriously. 20 pounds per person. Ya'll know even I can't drink 80 bucks worth of coffee.The yogurt was delicious. The croissant was cold and weird but the butter and apricot jam salvaged it quite nicely. I didn’t travel to Britain with any expectation of gourmet food and this breakfast totally matched my expectations.