Happy Birthday Katie!

Katie is ten years old.
I have known her now for exactly half her life. She’s still sassy. I’m guessing that will never change. She’s crafty. This year she has created a wide variety of items ranging from wallets to pillows completely out of duck tape. She loves to cook…and she’s pretty good at it. She has made the desserts for the last two gatherings we have had and everybody loved them. The most interesting thing about Katie, this year, is the way she has become what we call ‘the toddler whisperer’. If a 2-3 year old kid comes within a mile of Katie, they fall in love with her. It happens every time and I love watching her with them. She is so patient and sweet and so unlike her normal, somewhat grumpy, cynical self. I might have another baby just so Katie can help me take care of it.

On second thought…No.

Happy Birthday Katie! Let’s show 5th grade who’s boss.

Book Review - Dead Reckoning

Yep...another Charlaine Harris book. I can't stop. I get on the wait list at the library before the new ones are even published. I may need professional help. If you already love the Sookie Stackhouse books or True Blood on HBO, then obviously you are gonna want to read this. If you have never read one then please, don't start. It's like a vampire monkey on your back people. It ain't pretty.

Happy Birthday Emily!

Today is the big day.

18!!!

I met Emily when she was 13. Even then, she was looking forward to turning 18. I pray that being an official adult is all that she hoped for. She has a boyfriend, she has a car, she has a job, she has a European vacation in the works.

Happy Birthday Emily! Good luck world…

Book Review - All Over But The Shouting

"If you have never had a Krispy Kreme doughnut, I do not know how to describe them to you. It would be like trying to explain young love to a celibate priest."

Dear Mr Bragg,

I was wondering if we could be best friends? I just read your book. I love you. I love your mama. I love that a kid from Alabama won the Pulitzer Prize. I did not grow up like you. My dad did not run off when I was young. I was not poor. But I was raised in the South and I do have a slightly crazy family. Those things are an important bond for us.

Tell your wife she doesn't have to worry about me. I am happily married. I love my husband. But I feel both our lives could be enriched if you called me from time to time. I could tell you about my nutty great aunt Annie. You could tell me about your uncle Jimbo. We could talk about southern food with reverence while our spouses roll their eyes at us. Don't you think your writing could be seriously enhanced by a deep, intimate friendship with a chubby Southern housewife?

Think about it and let me know.

Love,
Rachel

Quoted - Blue Like Jazz Edition

"I don't think any church has ever been relevant to culture, to the human struggle, unless it believed in Jesus and the power of His gospel. If the supposed new church believes in trendy music and cool web pages, then it is not relevant to culture either. It is just another tool of Satan to get people to be passionate about nothing."

Book Review - The Lincoln Lawyer

This guy is like John Grisham only slightly less full of himself. That's a good thing. I haven't seen the movie yet but I feel quite confident it will disappoint me. They always do.

This is a standard lawyer/crime novel. Mickey Haller is the Lincoln lawyer. He's kind of a sleazeball but in a lovable kind of way. His client is even scummier than him. There's also a wisecracking private detective. I just love private detectives, don't you?

If you are looking for something to read by the pool, pick this one up.

Margaritaville

While on our cruise, Kevin and I booked an excursion to tour the Mayan ruins at Tulum. This involved a ferry boat ride from the cruise ship (anchored in the middle of the friggin ocean) to the beach at Tulum. Our excursion days earlier to Grand Cayman had consisted of a five minute trip on very calm waters. This trip was 45 minutes on ocean that looked like something out of The Perfect Storm. Let me tell ya, I was looking for the Professor or Mary Ann by the time we docked. Once on land, we boarded a tour bus for yet another 45 minute ride to Tulum.

We arrived at the site. Our tour guide encouraged us to visit the restaurant adjacent to the ruins after the tour. We thoroughly enjoyed touring the ruins. The buildings were magnificent but neither Kevin or I could stop looking at the beautiful beaches. White sand. Turquoise water. If you saw a picture of it in a magazine, you would swear it was photoshopped.



We completed the tour and found ourselves hot, tired, hungry and thirsty. How could we know how dangerous this combination would be? We grabbed a table at the restaurant. We ordered their famous tacos and a margarita. We were in Mexico. How could we not have a taco and a margarita? Our order arrived. Tacos served on a paper plate and Margaritas in a red plastic Solo cup. The food was ridiculously good and the drink was even better. We finished the meal and found we had a while before it would be time to return to the bus. We ordered a second drink. The waiter looked at us like we were nuts. We insisted. He served.

A little background may be helpful here. Kevin and I are not big drinkers. We share a bottle of wine from time to time. We have sangria or margaritas at Cinco de Mayo maybe once every six months. I knew that two drinks would get both of us a little bit tipsy but we had a 45 minute bus ride ahead of us. We'd sleep it off. It would be fine. We drank the 2nd margarita. The details I am about to share were gleaned from other members of our tour group. My memory of the whole shebang is pretty unreliable after #2 margarita.

First we bought souvenirs. International commerce should never be attempted while drunk. Learn from our mistakes people. We ended up with two luchador masks and a stone pipe in the shape of a foot. Neither of us smokes which makes that purchase a bit odd. Also, we have no idea what any of this stuff actually cost us.



Next we boarded the bus. At this point I am convinced that we are holding it together. I don't think anybody is aware of our drunken state. And, people, we were beyond drunk here. Never have I been so inebriated. While on the bus, we did not sleep. We did, however, spend the entire ride talking loudly about Scientology. Let me just tell ya, if Tom Cruise had been on that bus, Kevin and I would have got our butts kicked. I am told that the rest of the tour group enjoyed it though.




We got off the bus and somehow made it to the ferry. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever ridden a small boat on a big choppy ocean while drunker than Cootie Brown? I don't recommend it. We managed to not throw up which I felt was a big victory. At one point I overheard one of our group say something like "plus we have to deal with these two drunks!" Horror and shame washed over me. She was talking about us! I wanted to defend myself. I'm a good Christian with a low tolerance for alcohol! I was totally conned by that Mexican waiter! How could we have known that authentic Mexican margaritas are potent enough to inebriate Charlie Sheen?!?

We made it safely off the ferry and some kind of way made it back onto the cruise ship. It was very early afternoon at this point. We collapsed into our cabin and then this happened.



The details after that are a bit sketchy. what I can tell you is that we woke up around 7PM with massive headaches and regret. We ate large quantities of salty french fries and enjoyed the rest of our cruise.


**Note: The middle two pictures of Kevin were taken by one of his friends while we were on the bus. Notice the guy in the red behind him. See how he is laughing at us? We didn't see these pics until the friend posted them on Facebook. Remember the good ole days when you could make an ass out of yourself and just forget it? Facebook has ruined that forever. I bet somebody has video of this incident. Should I ever run for public office, you can expect that bad boy to surface

Book Review - Blue Like Jazz

This book is too awesome for me to review. I am going to post over the next few months some of my favorite quotes from this book. I hope Donald Miller doesn't sue me over it. I am desperately in love with his words and I can't NOT share them with you. Go buy this book and get a brand new highlighter. You're gonna need it.

Here's one to get you started.

"I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed that God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face."

Seriously, if you know of Christian writing more powerful than this, please send me a link immediately.

Book Review - Redeeming Love

I had to reread this book. I read this the first time right after I became a Christian. I loved it. In fact, I loved it so much that for the next ten years anytime someone asked for a book recommendation, I demanded that they read this. I loved it so much that anytime somebody told me they were reading it or they had just finished reading it, I would squeal like a 7 year old girl and clap my hands together in glee. In short, this book made me believe that Christian fiction could be good. Unfortunately, I have suffered through a lot of Christian fiction since then that was pretty awful. I'm just not a fan of Amish love stories and that is about 75% of today's Christian fiction.

Summer had just begun. The kids were driving me nuts. I spied Redeeming Love on my dusty bookshelf and dove back in. The surprising thing was that I remembered so little of the book. I hate that. I remembered the basic plot and theme but the details had completely abandoned my brain.

Here's the basic story. Angel is a child prostitute who grows up and moves West. Michael Hosea is a farmer. God tells Michael to take Angel as his wife. He does. Angel is pretty screwed up (as you would expect) and she just cannot receive love. She keeps running away. Michael keeps going after her.

When I read this the first time, I understood a few things. I had a rudimentary knowledge of the book of Hosea from the Old Testament. I knew that Michael represented God and that Angel represented all of us. But I wasn't spiritually mature enough to let the impact of this story tear me to shreds.

To be redeemed...

We, as Christians, throw that phrase around all the time. We sing about it. We write about it. But I don't know if we really accept it. Because to accept it fully we would have to try, somehow, to comprehend the totality of God's love for us. We view love as a conditional agreement. God just doesn't.

Reading this book gives you a glimpse of what God's love for us looks like. It opens your heart to the possibility that you are worthy of love no matter how often and egregiously you have screwed up. You will be different after you read it. You might also sob loudly so maybe try not to read it at the community pool. People will look at you funny. Trust me on this one.