Book Review - Double Shot (Nora Ephron Edition)

When Harry Met Sally is my favorite movie. I tell you this as a way of admitting that I cannot give an unbiased review of Nora Ephron. (And, seriously people, is it possible for me to give an unbiased review of anything?) Basically I love her so I knew I would love these books.




This first book is a series of essays on aging. I can't say that I actually identify with a lot of her laments...yet. Obviously I am aging rapidly and I am well aware that my body is falling apart but Nora is twice my age so it's just a different level of old.



This book is her latest and while it does deal with getting older I can really identify with it. The title essay is hysterical. She lists all these famous people she has met and situations she has lived through and then laments that she doesn't remember anything about them. She talks at length about how she can never remember anyone's name. This is a huge problem for me. I have taken to calling all males under the age of 20 "buddy". I don't even attempt to learn their names. This book also contains the essay on divorce that is honestly the best thing I have ever read on the subject. I blogged about it here.

Both of these books are easy reads. They are both just a collection of mostly short essays. Read one while the chicken is cooking. Read another while you are waiting for the kids to meet you in the school parking lot. Read one in the bathroom. Whatever. There's no pressure. No big plot, no mystery, no characters you are worried about. It's just a bunch of thoughts from a brilliant, funny lady. How can you go wrong?

Quoted -The B-I-B-L-E Edition

Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.

Proverbs 26:4

This is a good verse to memorize if you find yourself continually tempted to respond to stupid internet commenters.

Quoted

"It doesn’t really matter what you’re not. Whatever you’re not, He will be that for you."

Joyce Meyer

Scenes from Kline Manor

Kaylee: "When I grow up, I want to marry a man like Kevin."

Me: "Really Kaylee? That's such a sweet thing to say."

Kaylee: "Yeah. That way I won't have to work. The job market is really tight right now."

Quoted

"I will fight for my country, but I will not lie for her. "

Zora Neale Hurston

Beth Moore: The Hair Brush

Quoted

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."

Eric Hoffer

I have tested this theory in my own life and it holds absolutely true. Stupid, manipulative people think the rest of us either have very short memory recall or that we really do believe the myths they have created. It's sad really.

Parenting Part 1

My buddy Jason wrote this great post about parenting. It was written in response to an article about Mayim Bialik (Blossom? Remember her?) While I disagree with just about everything she says, my first inclination is to say "Well everyone has the right to their own opinion and to raise their kids however they see fit." The problem with that is all of us are gonna have to deal with these kids when they grow up.

First, the natural delivery thing. While I agree that medical intervention has probably gone overboard in regard to childbirth, I am still glad it exists. If you want to give birth in a kiddie pool in your bedroom, I will support your decision 100% (and really, do you need my support?) but I think it's foolish to wax nostalgic about how we have been homebirthing since the beginning of time without remembering that dying in childbirth was kind of a normal event during those times. Do you know any woman who pushed for 16 hours and then ended up with a c-section? Well that mom and baby would not have survived the touchy-feely homebirth that Blossom thinks is the bomb diggity. I just think we probably need to find some middle ground. Less medical intervention, less all or nothing hippie counter culture nonsense.

Onto the breast feeding. Let me agree with her completely in that, obviously, breast milk is the perfect food for babies. Full disclosure, I only nursed my first child and only for 4 months. Nursing drove me nuts. And then I felt so guilty because all the LaLeche types act like giving a kid formula is on par with child abuse. I raised three healthy babies on formula. It's fine, I assure you. That doesn't mean it's better than breast milk. It isn't. It just means that should you decide not to nurse, the world probably won't stop turning. And as far as nursing a 2 1/2 year old on demand? Seriously, I think once a kid can walk up to you and ask for a drink, that's probably a good indication that nursing time is over.

There's lots more in this article. Co-sleeping, 'gentle discipline', on so forth. But the main idea is that whatever her kids want, they get. Not material things. But everything else. How can a kid learn to be thankful for things unless you teach them to say 'thank you'. Manners are not inborn into children. That's what parents are for.

I think most parents do the best they can. I have seen kids raised,in my opinion, perfectly who turn into utter losers. I have seen kids raised by the worst imaginable parents turn into fantastic adults who enrich the world. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

My main problem with Blossom's parenting (and I'm sure she would have the same problem with mine) is her interpretation of a child's place in the world. I love my children and stepchildren. I would literally die for any one of them. But they are not the center of the universe. If I don't teach my kids that lesson, the world will teach them...the hard way. Parents should have unconditional love for their children. But, for me, that love involves the responsibility to prepare them to be caring, responsible, Godly adults.

I think you can see now why I'm not very popular in the 'mommy' type groups.

Quoted

"The cold passion for truth hunts in no pack."

Robinson Jeffers

Kevin's Truck

Let's just say that Kevin and I often deal with people who treat us badly. Perhaps we invite this behavior. Perhaps God is trying to teach us something. We simply do not know.

A perfect example of this phenomenon is the restoration of Kevin's truck. When we started dating in 2006, I saw this truck once. It obviously wasn't Kevin's main vehicle. A while later, he mentioned that he had found a guy to restore it. The body was in very rough shape. He paid a man named Charlie to fix it. Charlie was a person that did restoration as a kind of hobby so Kevin knew the work would not be done quickly. He is a very patient man. He was in no hurry.





After many, many thousands of dollars paid and probably one hundred phone calls made, I drove into our driveway on January 6, 2011 and found the truck returned to it's rightful place. The whole process only took 4 years.



When Charlie originally began working on the truck, it had a working engine. My guess is that after sitting for 48 months undriven in a garage the engine is gonna need some fine tuning. We will not be using another hobby mechanic I can assure you. But, for now, we like looking at it. And we're both going to pretend it was worth every penny.

New Year's Not So Rockin Eve

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Ava had a stomach virus on New Year's Eve and Savannah was just getting over it so the New Year's celebration was markedly 'couch based' here at Kline Manor.

Quoted

"A good president does what's possible and a great president changes what's possible."

The Challenge - Update 1

Not buying stuff is hard.

I'm really surprised. I had no idea how much mindless consumerism I apparently engage in. For example, I spend a lot of time on 'deal' and coupon web sites. Now I have no need to check those. Did I ever really have a NEED to check them? Obviously not. But what do I do online now? Maybe I will work on redeveloping a Scrabble addiction.

It took all of 1 day for the challenge to become...well challenging. On New Year's Day Kevin wanted to go to Costco. This didn't bother me. Kevin wanted shelves for the garage. He had a gift card and we had been planning to buy them for a while. It didn't feel like a violation of my completely made up and arbitrary rules. After checking the website to make sure Costco was open on New Year's Day, we loaded up the kids and headed out.

Guess what? Costco is not open on New Year's Day.

Kevin felt this would be a great opportunity for us to finally visit McKay's Used Bookstore. It is right down the street from Costco and we have been wanting to go for years. The problem is that after we go to Costco, we are too exhausted by the shopping, lifting, carloading and ginormous snack bar pizza to stop anywhere.

Let's just say I knew how this was gonna go down. I love, love, love bookstores. But used bookstores are my favorite. They just have such a weird variety of titles. It thrills me. McKay's was all I hoped(dreaded) it would be and more. The place is huge and just filled with books, books and stuff. Kevin and the kids headed off in different directions and I just tried not to focus. I did not NEED any books. But I really, really wanted some. They had books on sale for a nickel. Did you hear me? A NICKEL!!!

Kevin bought books.

Anna bought books.

Rachel did not buy any books.

But I had a pretty bad attitude about it. And then on the drive home I began plotting the book buying binge I would wreak upon that place as soon as the month of January was over. This embarrassed and refocused me. This challenge is about my behavior. I am not a shop-a-holic. But I do buy a lot of crap I don't need. Some of it isn't crap. Some of it is really cool stuff...that I don't need.

So the biggest hurdle for the early part of this month has been defining my goal. I am not trying to just postpone a month's worth of unnecessary purchases for thirty days. Do I intend to buy stuff again? Yep. Will all of those things be necessary? Nope. Will a smaller portion of those purchases be those unnecessary things? Good grief. I certainly hope so.

Quoted - The B-I-B-L-E Edition

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness, who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

Isaiah 5:20

Book Review

I'm not sure what to say about this book.

First, let me say that Haywood Smith needs an editor...bad. (I would be willing to do this for her next book between loads of laundry. Haywood! Call me girl!) By the first fifteen pages, I was ready to return this one before finishing. Here's a few reasons I hated it.

1. Within 2 pages, the author used the word 'tangential' twice. Look, I appreciate a good vocabulary as much as the next gal but if you had a conversation with someone who used a word like 'tangential' twice, you would likely think that person was a pretentious butthole. You would probably be right.

2. The main character attends what she calls a'Ladies Sewing Circle'. Each time she describes or mention this group, she calls it her 'whine and cheese' group. That joke was barely funny the first time.

3. There are other instances where the character names just get mixed up. Like "Patricia waited while Bob and Patricia ate dinner." Somebody should have noticed that...besides me.

Despite my misgivings, I kept reading. And the story was actually good. It's about a couple, Howe and Elizabeth Whittington. Howe is the president of the family bank, he's a distant husband, he's basically a jerk, he and his wife haven't shared a bedroom in 20 years, his mother rules the family with an iron fist, etc. Basically you've heard all these character cliches before. But then the story gets interesting. Howe has a stroke. He is in a coma for six months. He finally awakens as a new man. He remembers his wife and family and he also remembers what a horrible person he was. He sets out to right his wrongs. It's pretty awesome. He's affectionate to the son he previously ignored. He disciplines the daughter he had let run wild. He stands up to his mean mama. And he tries hard to regain the affection of his wife.

One of the most interesting things that happens to Howe is that he 'meets Jesus'. I don't get the impression that the author is trying to make any big Christian statements. It's used mainly as an excuse for the other characters to roll their eyes or exhale heavily whenever Howe starts talking religion. As a faithful church attender for his whole life, no one can understand why Howe now prays, argues about theology with his Episcopalian brethren and (horror of horrors) makes statements like "God told me...". I know how hard this can be. Anyone who actually meets Jesus starts getting that reaction pretty quickly. Some of you are rolling your eyes right now. I know. I was you.

There's more to this book than I have highlighted here. Some of it is good. Some ain't. Overall, it was fun to read and surprisingly thought provoking.

Quoted

"You have three friends in your life: God, your Mama, and the Democratic Party. And I'm not so sure about your Mama."

Alan Grayson

Christmas

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Book Review

The most important thing you need to know about this book is that it is long. I'm talking 1000 pages. It's a very impractical book to take along to basketball practice, band concerts, etc. But it's so dang awesome that I did just that.

I loved Pillars of the Earth and World Without End. So I assumed I would like this book too. I planned to buy it for Kevin's birthday. (Yes, I buy him books that I want to read. He has accepted it. You should too.) But I noticed that the Amazon reviews were really bad. After reading them, I realized that most of the bad reviews were due to the 20 dollar price tag for the Kindle edition. The Amazon reviewers felt that the only way to vent their rage at the unfair pricing by this publisher was to give it one star reviews. This annoys me. I'm pretty sure Ken Follett (like every other author on the planet) doesn't have much control over how much his eBook costs. And, honestly people, at 1000 pages, this is like getting three really good books which makes any price a bargain.

That being said, I got my copy for free at the library. I was on the waiting list for a looong time. But it was worth the wait. Fall of Giants is the first book in a planned trilogy (ambitious, ain't he?) It is the story of the 20th century. Really. This first book centers mainly on World War I. I learned more history from reading this book than I did through all of high school. I'm not proud of that. Also, I kept describing scenarios from the book to Kevin and asking "Did that really happen?" He's a very patient man.

The book jacket contains a list of all the characters and locations. It was intimidating. I thought there was no way I would ever be able to keep so many people and places straight. But this is what Follett excels at doing. He creates these characters that are so interesting that you can't help but be sucked in. It's really the best kind of book. Even after all those pages, I hated for it to end. He ended it well so I'm looking forward to the next book but there was no big cliffhanger so I won't go nuts in anticipation.

Quoted - The B-I-B-L-E Edition

"Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light."


Micah 7:8

Resolved 2011 Edition

I have written this post multiple times in my head. I've called you out. I've called them out. I have whined. I have complained. And this, in essence, is my problem. My focus is completely screwed up.

My purpose in life is to glorify God. Period.

But I haven't been doing that.

I really thought I was. I really meant to. But somewhere along the way, I decided that my purpose was to control everything that happened under this roof. I had the best of intentions. Most idiots do. I held on so tight that it seems like the whole thing just crumbled in my hand. So I'm resolved to let go. And it's the hardest thing I have ever contemplated doing.

I face 2011 blessed beyond measure. I have a husband who loves me. I have healthy, happy children and stepchildren. I have a home, a yard and a stupid dog.

Letting go does not, in any way, mean giving up. But I look forward to seeing just how God might use a chubby housewife if she will give Him His rightful place in her life.