Parenting Part 1

My buddy Jason wrote this great post about parenting. It was written in response to an article about Mayim Bialik (Blossom? Remember her?) While I disagree with just about everything she says, my first inclination is to say "Well everyone has the right to their own opinion and to raise their kids however they see fit." The problem with that is all of us are gonna have to deal with these kids when they grow up.

First, the natural delivery thing. While I agree that medical intervention has probably gone overboard in regard to childbirth, I am still glad it exists. If you want to give birth in a kiddie pool in your bedroom, I will support your decision 100% (and really, do you need my support?) but I think it's foolish to wax nostalgic about how we have been homebirthing since the beginning of time without remembering that dying in childbirth was kind of a normal event during those times. Do you know any woman who pushed for 16 hours and then ended up with a c-section? Well that mom and baby would not have survived the touchy-feely homebirth that Blossom thinks is the bomb diggity. I just think we probably need to find some middle ground. Less medical intervention, less all or nothing hippie counter culture nonsense.

Onto the breast feeding. Let me agree with her completely in that, obviously, breast milk is the perfect food for babies. Full disclosure, I only nursed my first child and only for 4 months. Nursing drove me nuts. And then I felt so guilty because all the LaLeche types act like giving a kid formula is on par with child abuse. I raised three healthy babies on formula. It's fine, I assure you. That doesn't mean it's better than breast milk. It isn't. It just means that should you decide not to nurse, the world probably won't stop turning. And as far as nursing a 2 1/2 year old on demand? Seriously, I think once a kid can walk up to you and ask for a drink, that's probably a good indication that nursing time is over.

There's lots more in this article. Co-sleeping, 'gentle discipline', on so forth. But the main idea is that whatever her kids want, they get. Not material things. But everything else. How can a kid learn to be thankful for things unless you teach them to say 'thank you'. Manners are not inborn into children. That's what parents are for.

I think most parents do the best they can. I have seen kids raised,in my opinion, perfectly who turn into utter losers. I have seen kids raised by the worst imaginable parents turn into fantastic adults who enrich the world. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

My main problem with Blossom's parenting (and I'm sure she would have the same problem with mine) is her interpretation of a child's place in the world. I love my children and stepchildren. I would literally die for any one of them. But they are not the center of the universe. If I don't teach my kids that lesson, the world will teach them...the hard way. Parents should have unconditional love for their children. But, for me, that love involves the responsibility to prepare them to be caring, responsible, Godly adults.

I think you can see now why I'm not very popular in the 'mommy' type groups.