After a week of observing lots of police officers (and no, I haven't been arrested...yet) I think I have come up with a pretty definitive classification system.
Patrolmen - These are the fresh faced cuties straight out of the academy. Some of them even ride bicycles. These guys are all about the 'serve and protect" thing. They will actually get out of their car and chase a suspect if they run. The majority of the ones I met were male and 90 percent of them reminded me of the little boys I used to babysit. Also, these guys never look comfortable. They're the only cops who wear the actual uniform which, frankly, contains too much stuff.
And I really did try to appear professional and mature, but every time a new one came in to testify, it took all my self-control not to holler out "Don't tase me bro!"
Deputy - These guys are very similar to Patrolmen only they're not as nice. I think the uncomfortable uniform is starting to get to them.
Investigator/Inspector/DEA Agents - This is the "James Bond" category of police officers. They're smokin hot. There I said it. They don't wear uniforms and they all appear brooding and angry like a character from a Bronte novel.
Detective - This is where the fantasy ends... Every doughnut consumed from the time they join the department take their revenge when these fellas make detective. They're also real mad most of the time and will become absolutely apoplectic if you happen to question them. Which, of course, I did :)
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