Shopping observations

- Online shopping has ruined me for the mall. There are tons of people there and they're all in line in front of me.

- Lady, I'm sorry life hasn't turned out quite like you had planned. I understand. I've been there myself. But your exaggerated sighs each time someone steps up to your check-out register only serves to piss me off which isn't the Christmas spirit thing I was hoping for, OK?

- Conversely, the employees at a certain candle store in the mall are arrogant heifers. It's a candle. I've used them before. I think I've got the whole "light it" and "let it burn" thing figured out. I really don't need your ten minute lecture on wick trimming. Thanks a bunch.

- I've never once paid full price for anything at 'Linens and Things'. It makes me happy. They carry suprisingly few linens, though. They should call it 'A Bunch of things and a few Linens'.

- Macy's makes me really miss Castner Knott. I loved that store.

- You know those annoying Kiosk people in the mall? They never approach me. I must give off some weird "Speak one word to me and I will not hesitate to karate chop you right here in front of God and everybody" vibes. It works out great because I'm not in the market for any miracle hand cream, cell phones or sequined purses.

- I spent an entire day by myself and enjoyed it immensely. I'm pretty damn good company.