My favorite wedding picture

My second favorite wedding picture.

The Wedding

Friday 8/22/08


After all of the nonsense that preceded it, the actual wedding could not have gone better. The 'brides room' at the chapel had this claw foot antique bathtub just sitting in the middle of the room. While it seemed like a completely random decorating choice, the girls had a good time posing in it for pictures which made the last few moments before the ceremony much less nerve wracking. I really have to give all the kids some credit for their behavior. It can't be easy to watch your parent marry someone other than your other parent no matter how much you approve of the union. But if they were bothered, they all hid it well.

So 5 bridesmaids, 1 best man, 1 maid of honor, 1 pastor and his wife, 1 photographer, 1 coordinator ( what needed coordinating?) and 6 guests came together and created a wonderful ceremony. Was it serene? Of course not. Nothing we do ever is or ever will be, I imagine. But it was fun.

When you have been married before, a wedding can create some complicated emotions. Unlike a first time bride, I walked down that aisle knowing what I was walking toward. And even while experiencing the joy of a new marriage, I know I will never forget the agony that a marriage ending can cause. We live in a world where people give up too easily. I said the standard vows to Kevin but this is what I meant...

"I will not give up."

Amen

The Lead Up Part III - The Fug

My wedding posts would not be complete without an explanation for my horrendous hair-do which I will now and forevermore refer to as "The Fug'. I hope to be able to post some pictures soon and I wouldn't want you to get the impression that I thought my hair looked good. Then you would be laughing at me instead of with me and I can't have that.

The fault for the fug lies solely with Kevin. He casually suggested that I go to a salon on the day of the wedding to have my hair and makeup done. Sounded like a great idea at the time. I followed his advice and it led down a path of horror.

As previously noted, I rushed around all morning trying to find a dress. The wedding wasn't until 6 PM but the latest salon appointment I could get was at 12:30PM. I thought that would give me plenty of time to get my hair and makeup done and still run by the nail place before I had to be home to meet the school bus. (You know you are a mommy-bride if 'meet the school bus' is part of your wedding day preparation.)

I arrived at the salon right on time. The stylist (I've forgotten her name. Not sure if I ever knew it.) took me back to discuss what kind of style I would like. I actually brought a picture. I never do that. But I thought this one time it would be ok since I would be looking at this hairdo in pictures for the rest of my frackin life. The stylist looked at the picture, said "No problem" and went right to work. She used a curling iron for what seemed like the better part of a decade. My chair was turned facing away from the mirror and she talked nonstop while working. After the stress of the preceding days, I was actually starting to relax a little bit.

Then she spun the chair toward the mirror and I choked back a scream as I faced my reflection. How could those hundreds of tiny corkscrew curls that she had so painstakingly created have come together to form this this old lady - no hair -bun? It was hideous and bore not even a passing resemblance to the picture. The funniest thing (if anything about this could be funny) was that the stylist was really proud of it. She ushered me into the makeup chair where she did manage to do a decent job. My face was awfully shiny but that little detail was completely overshadowed by the goofy hairdo which made my face look like a giant Moon Pie.

Did I mention that this whole thing took so long that the school bus beat me home. I ran in the house and my three beloved children just stared at me. My own kids wouldn't even lie to me when I needed it most. I sent them out to the van and we headed for the nail place. In general, having a formal hairstyle while wearing street clothes can make you feel conspicuous but working the fug in t-shirt and shorts took me to a new level of embarassment (which, for me, is saying a lot.)

I collapsed into the nail chair and asked for a full-set. I'd never been to this particular salon before. The manicurist went to work and even got the girls settled in to get their own nails painted. She worked quickly and quietly and I'm pretty sure she could tell I was on the verge of unravelling. At one point, she looked at me and said very quietly "You look pretty" and then went right back to work. I knew she was lying but I didn't care. Sometimes you need a compliment.

After all my foolishness leading up to the wedding, the actual event could not have gone better. It was all that I hoped it would be. And if I could do it all over agin, I wouldn't change a thing...except the fug.

The Lead Up -Part II - Dress Quest

The first week living together - all nine of us - went really well. The following week was the wedding. Kevin and Dylan got new suits. Emily and the little girls all got new dresses. Kevin's wedding band was Fed-exed just in time. I made our bouquets. (They turned out tolerable. Martha Stewart, I ain't.) The chapel had taken care of the other details. All that was left was to get a dress for myself.

Take my advice...never attempt to shop for a wedding dress with 5 little girls. It's just a bad idea.

Which brings us to Thursday night. Less than 24 hours before the wedding. No dress.

I convinced myself that Dillard's was my best option so I got up early Friday morning, took the kids to school and headed to Hickory Hollow. I arrived just after 8AM. I'm not a big mall shopper so I had no idea what time they actually opened. 9AM just seemed appropriate to me so I thought I would just get a big cup of coffee and be at the door when they opened. And, yeah, I guess I could have checked the opening time before driving all the way there but I wasn't exactly in a rational state of mind.

At 8:30 I decided to walk up to the front door just to check the opening time. Apparently that particular Dillard's was going out of business so that location did not open until 11:00. I handled that setback pretty well all things considered. I jumped back in the van and drove all the way to Cool Springs. I made it there around 8:50. I had a very encouraging voice mail from Kevin and I had almost convinced myself that everything was gonna work out fine. I would go in, find the perfect dress within minutes and be headed back to Providence in plenty of time for my hair/makeup appointment. Then I realized that it was after 9AM and no one was in the parking lot. I walked to the door to read the sign. Open at 10:00AM. Let the freak-out commence.

I really wanted (NEEDED) to get my nails done so I drove around until I found a salon. I thought this would be the best way to fill the hour before the store opened while eliminating one more item on my 'to do' list. Guess what time the nail salon opened? I was needing that cup of coffee real, real bad at this point.

Store finally opens at 10AM. I go in, pick up the first 6 dresses I find in my size and head to the dressing room. I am brimming with confidence. I will come out with THE dress (not too dressy, not too casual) and this whole nonsense will be behind me. 10 minutes later I emerge without THE dress. I search the racks again and grudgingly decide to give up on Dillards.

I wandered into the mall and headed to Macys. I had no plan at this point. I was just walking. Macy's had two racks of nonsense so I set out for JCPenneys. It's 10:45 and I'm feeling the urge to curl up in the fetal position and coo like a pigeon. JCP is the biggest disappointment of the morning. There are just racks everywhere with barely any room to walk between them. It was as if the store had gone out of business years ago but nobody bothered to tell the employees. After much searching, I found one tolerable selection. Actually it wasn't tolerable, it was just the right size but I simply could not bring myself to try it on.

I walked back out into the mall in a panic. I had no idea where else I could possibly look and I was so frustrated with myself. I'm just not the type of person who loses her cool over something as trivial as a dress. But there I was on the verge of a meltdown in the middle of the Galleria.

I am not ashamed to admit that, at that point, I literally prayed for a dress.

Cool Springs is a two level mall. I began scanning the stores around me when I looked up and saw it. Jessica McClintock. The mother ship. Formalwear is all they sell. I had no idea they even had a store. I ran up the escalator and felt relief for the first time that day. Racks upon racks of wedding dresses both formal and casual in every size. I grabbed three and headed to the dressing room.

I don't think I found THE dress but I found one that fit and was not embarrassing. And it was fifty percent off which made me like it even more. I stopped on the way out for a celebratory cup of coffee and I drove home feeling like everything was gonna work out fine. Little did I know that a hair massacre was awaiting me...

The Lead Up - Part I

There were several times during late July and early August that I really believed this wedding wasn't going to happen. We had spent the better part of a year planning a marriage and about 15 minutes planning a wedding. I still think we had our priorities straight. But the drama unfolded nonetheless. Full disclosure: the drama mostly was inside my head.


We discovered pretty quickly that even a small ceremony with a miniscule number of guests can be a complete pain in the butt to put together. This is where I admit that I acted quite badly. In my defense, I think planning a wedding produces a comparable number of hormones as, say, early pregnancy...with sextuplets. I have no idea why this is true but trust me. I cried every day for two weeks. Admittedly, I am more emotional than your average gal but this nonsense bordered on the ridiculous.


Major life changes are stressful. 4 or 5 major life changes all at the same should make one eligible for prescription meds. We moved in at the beginning of August. I had been packing for weeks and the physical move went as smoothly as could be expected. (Kevin enlisted Dylan, Emily, and some of their friends which helped big time.) I tried to quit my job which involved lots of hysterics at the office. We were also trying to get all the kids ready to start school. It was a perfect storm.