Happy Anniversary to Me! You! Us!

I wanted to think of something really romantic to write for our anniversary.

Here's the best thing I could come up with.

If I had known all of the challenges that the last 1460 days would hold, I would still choose to walk through every one of those days with you. 

Bible Tuesday - David Part 18

Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘ It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these!  Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon.  Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’  Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight.

2 Samuel 12:7-11

Uh oh...

Then David said to Nathan, “ I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12:13

Pay attention here.  This is not just an "I got caught and I'm sorry" deal.  David is confessing and acknowledging that his sin was not against Uriah, or Bathsheba, or even to himself.  David knows his sin was against God.

But there is something even bigger going on here.  David is the King.  It's not much of a stretch to think that David could declare that He is the one who decides what sin actually is and is not.  People in power do that all the time.

But when you deny that something God has clearly labeled as sin is actually…you know...sin.  You have set yourself up as God.  You make the rules.  You define sin.  That’s the heart of the matter.  The difference between the ‘saved’ sinner and the ‘enemy of the most high God’  is not their behavior.  It is the belief that God is almighty.  That He alone has the authority to define sin.

My friend  and I get caught up in what she calls a ‘circle’.  It’s not an argument.  We both agree that we don’t have the answer.  Here’s the question.  What differentiates between the sin of the redeemed and the sin of the lost?  Clearly, we all sin…every dang day.  In that, Christians are no different than anyone else.  I’d like to say that a saved person would sin less and try harder to not repeat the same sin every stinkin day of their life but that’s just a hope and not something I actually have any evidence to support.  So for a while, my argument was simple.  Christians sin too but they feel bad about it whereas the ‘lost’ live their lives in continual sin that doesn’t bother them in the least.  For years, I thought that was a real good answer.  Now I think it sounds kinda dumb. 

It was David's reaction in this passage that changed my mind.  Now I think that the difference in the saved and lost sinner is the acknowledgement that God has the right to define sin in the first place.  If you hear phrases such as "How can it be sin if..."  or "Why would a loving God call (fill in the blank) sin?" or "That doesn't apply to us in this culture, generation, etc."  then I think there is a pretty good chance you are not dealing with a Christian sinner.  

And look, at the end of the day, all of us, (saved, lost, whatever) are lying around in a huge mud puddle.  But it's the responsibility of a Christian to acknowledge the mud even if everyone around us is pretending it's a spa treatment.

Glutton - Part 1

Genesis

It seems reasonable that looking back to where all my weight issues began could be helpful. When it comes to weight loss, I have always been a cliché.  Tried everything, succeeded seldom, failed often.  And no matter how hard I try I cannot remember ever being satisfied.  Which, I believe is the key to my whole affliction.

I was always chubby as a child.  Not ‘Maury Povich guest’ chubby but overweight nonetheless.  I can’t remember an age when I didn’t think about my weight.  I’m sure there was a time but it is beyond the reach of my memory.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my mother was in a pretty bad car accident.  Throughout that year, she suffered through many surgeries and a very difficult recovery.  She began to sink into clinical depression and sought the help of a psychiatrist.  That doctor told her that she was depressed because she was fat.  No, really.

My mother had never had a weight problem.  She is one of those people who fascinates me.  She eats until she is full and then stops…even if she likes what she is eating.  She had, in fact, gained weight after her accident due mostly to the massive doses of steroid medicines that she had been taking.  The psychiatrist prescribed Slimfast.  This happened in the late eighties.  Slimfast was a fairly new product.  My mom dutifully drank her shake for breakfast, shake for lunch and then ate a sensible dinner.  She lost weight.  In hindsight I realize she probably would have lost the weight naturally after the steroids were out of her system.  Nevertheless, her doctor pronounced her cured. 

The ramification of this period in our life was huge though.  It was the time when I discovered THE DIET.  I don't mean any specific plan or product.  I mean the actual concept of restricting food in some way.  Up until that point, I really had no idea what people did to lose weight.  Weight loss was not yet the big business that it is today.  The media was not saturated with diet pills, plans and scams the same way it is now. 

By the last month of the school year, I began sneaking my mother’s SlimFast shakes.  I was the first one up each morning.  I would make a shake and guzzle it down before catching the school bus.  I went through the school day subsisting on nothing but Diet Coke.  I skipped lunch and then devoured another shake as soon as I got home in the afternoon.  I meticulously cleaned the blender after each use so no one would know what I was doing.  Why did I feel the need to hide?  After all these years, I still do not know.

At the beginning of the summer, my mom found out my secret.  She wasn’t mad.  To my astonishment, she  seemed thrilled.  She bought me several different flavors of SlimFast powder and a Lean Cuisine meal of my choosing for every day of the week. 

My first diet.  Two shakes a day plus a frozen diet meal for dinner.  700 calories a day.  Virtually no fat.  Just as a point of reference, during the holocaust, Jews in concentration camps were given around 800 calories a day. 

The only thing I remember about that summer is being hungry…all the time.  I lost 30 pounds in three months.  I was getting positive attention from everyone including (finally) boys.  I learned that hunger (starving) created positive results.  It was a lesson that would cause ridiculous amounts of damage to me for the next 25 years.

Funday

PCB 2012 Part One

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Book Review - A Discovery of Witches

Let me start by saying this.  I, as a Christian, have no problem reading about wizards, witches, vampires, etc.  Fiction is...fiction. 

I also read a lot about undecided voters and compassionate conservatives and I'm pretty sure they don't exist either. 

What I'm trying to say is calm down.  It's just a book.

All that being said, it's pretty dang good.  It's very long which is surprising since it is the first in a planned trilogy.  While reading it, I wondered if the author meant to write one book but just had so much in her head that it would not fit.  This deal is just chock full of every magical detail you could possibly imagine.

There's a witch, her lesbian witch aunts, a hunky vampire, his son, his mother and some daemons.  (What the heck is a daemon?  I still do no know for sure.)  There's also a magical witch house, an enchanted book and time travel.

What else do you need to know?

Bible Tuesday - David Part 17

When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him.  When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son.
2 Samuel 11:26-27

If you didn't know any better, you would have to think that David had just gotten away with murder...literally.  Clearly at least nine months have passed.  Do you think David was getting all excited about the new baby?  Do you think he convinced himself that his actions must have been 'God's Plan' because everything was going so well.

Hear me on this.  Every great thing that happens to you is not God's blessing on your behavior.  And every bad thing that happens is not God's punishment for you.  Sometimes your company just gives you a bonus.  Don't try to use that as a way to confirm that God is completely enamored of your actions.  And sometimes your car just breaks down in the rain when you have no money to fix it.  Don't beat yourself up over every bump in your road by deciding God hates you.  He doesn't.

David is about to figure this out.

But the Lord was displeased with what David had done.
2 Samuel 11:27

Oh snap...

So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle.  The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”
2 Samuel 12:1-4

You see where this is going, right?  Yeah, well David didn't.

David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die!  He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”
2 Samuel 12:5-6

Ya'll,  David was FURIOUS.  He just cannot believe somebody would act so horribly.  The dude is less than a year away from stealing a man's wife and then MURDERING him and he is already so self-righteous that he can get mad at this made up sinner in Nathan's story. 

Here comes one of the best scripture moments evah!

Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man!
2 Samuel 12:7

At this point you have to take a minute to love on Nathan.  That could not have been an easy day.  God tells him to confront THE KING (who could kill him 10,000 different ways just for smelling funny) and Nathan does it.  And he does it hardcore.

I love it even more because Nathan not only calls David on his sin, he kinda humiliates him in the process.  This is no accident.  There's a little too much pride in our boy David.  God is going to have to deal with that as he molds David into a man after His own heart.

Wherein I (finally) get real - Glutton Prologue

Prologue

I am about to celebrate my 39th birthday.  I’m not scared of that number or really any number after that.  As long as God allows me to continue, I am happy to wrinkle and sag with a sense of humour.

But there is a number that breaks my heart.

25

That's how many years I have been on a diet.  For those of you who actually know me, you must be thinking  “Wow, you must really suck at dieting.”  But the truth is that I am awesome at dieting.  I suck at not being on a diet.  I know the calorie, carb and fat content of 75% of the food produced on Earth.  I can name vitamins and minerals you probably have never heard of.  (And chances are I have bought most of them too.  Thanks Amazon.com!!!)  I have spent literal years of my life on stationary bikes, in aerobics classes, and whatever other exercise you can imagine.  (Remember the Thighmaster?  Yep.  I owned one.) 

And two and a half decades later, I am smarter, sadder and way fatter than I was when I started.  And there is a very simple reason for that.

I am a glutton.

Dear God that word is so hard. I would almost rather admit to being a thief or a liar because those sins are culturally forgivable. Modern society has no mercy for the glutton.

I preach to anyone who will listen that Christ is the answer.  That any problem you have can be solved by the freedom provided by His love and sacrifice.  But I live every day in bondage of my own making. 

 And so clearly there is a lot to say.  I don’t know how long it will take.  Maybe months.  Maybe years.  And you may not want to read it.  And I don’t blame you.  But is it possible you might be a glutton too?  Do you buy too much?  Watch too much TV?  Obsess over a specific person/relationship?

The sin of gluttony is not overeating.  It is idolatry.  Gluttony is a way of saying “God, you are not enough.”  The sentence breaks me into a million pieces.  But my life proves it everyday.

But here is my only attempt at an excuse.

-         I am a food addict.  You may not believe that people can be addicted to food.  My friend Jen has done a great job discussing food addiction on her blog here.  Go read it and then come back.  If you are still not convinced, we’ll just have to agree to disagree. But trust me on this, I am like the Robert Downey Jr of food addiction.  Unfortunately, I am not addicted to broccoli or carrots.  I am addicted to sugar and flour.  (DO NOT start with me about healthy whole grains, we will argue about that later.)

That’s my excuse and it’s legitimate.  But my addiction does not negate my personal responsibility.  I know how sugar and flour affect me.  (And I am not just talking about my fat butt.) These products literally cause physical and mental side effects that you probably won’t believe.

I have no idea how to fix this.  But this I know.  Sin cannot be forgiven until it is confessed. 

And so I finally reached the end of my rope.

And God was waiting there for me.

And I am guessing He wondered what took me so long.

Funday

Book Review - Love Does

This book changed my life.

You think I am exaggerating? 

Gotta tell you.  Not much.

Bob Goff made me love Jesus more than I already did (which I kinda thought was impossible.)

Here's a few examples of why he is awesome.

“And for me, I’ve realized that I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”

“Every day God invites us on the same kind of adventure. It's not a trip where He sends us a rigid itinerary, He simply invites us. God asks what it is He's made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then, leaning over us, He whispers, "Let's go do that together.” 

“I used to think God guided us by opening and closing doors, but now I know sometimes God wants us to kick some doors down.”

Maybe this book won't change your life.  But I bet, if you read it, you will start asking yourself. "What would Bob do?"  and you will smile every time you do. 

If you want an antidote to the poisonous Christians? that you see on TV, Bob Goff is the answer.

Winter Guard 2012

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I must admit that Winter Guard was a learning experience for me. Marching Band I know. But winter guard didn't happen at my high school. So now I know more than I ever wanted to know about winter guard. I still like marching band better but this deal is growing on me. I thought the fees and practice schedule was outrageous until I took a trip with the guard to Muncie, IN for a competition. We drove a minivan convoy for 6 hours in the pouring rain. Our destination was a church in Muncie that let us stay very cheap in their youth group wing and use their gym for rehearsal. We arrived tired and grumpy around midnight. Through the rain I watched 25 teenage girls unload all their equipment(which filled a small u-haul) and not complain once. That, my friends, is what I'm paying for. And it is worth every penny.

Bible Tuesday - The Excuses

So this should be a big week. David is at a crisis point and we are about to see one of the BIG ways that he is a 'man after God's own heart'.

But here's the thing. I haven't written the post yet. School just started and I am overwhelmed. This just isn't a post I want to rush so be patient with me...until next Tuesday.

Book Review - Spring Fever

Mary Kay Andrews never disappoints me.

Never.

I took this book with me on vacation but I started another book first.   It's impossible for me to enjoy the beach without a good book.  The book I started before this was not good.  I gave up on it (which I hardly ever do) and started Spring Fever.

This book starts at a wedding.  Annajane Hudgens is at the wedding of her ex-husband Mason.  Annajane's best friend is Mason's sister.  Her name is Pokey.

Lemme ask you a question.  With just the information that I have given you, can you not already see that this book is gonna be ten kinds of awesome? 

Well, it is. 

Mason is marrying a lady named Celia.  (We hate her by the way.)  Mason's young daughter barfs all over the church as she suffers acute appendicitis during the ceremony.

Ya'll it just gets better from there.



CSA - Week 'Who Cares?"

I hate being wrong.

But here's the deal.  This CSA was a mistake.  For lots of reasons.  To begin, I think our weather has had a huge effect on the harvest.  That's my way of giving this particular farm the benefit of the doubt because I cannot imagine that they have repeat customers if this is their normal share.  The quality of the produce was great.  But the variety was disappointing.  I just expected more weird stuff.  The kids are interested in foods they have ever eaten so I have a better chance of getting them to try it.  I can't excite them with my weekly onion.

The other problem is that my family is large and they eat a lot.  I did purchase an additional fruit share but the volume just wasn't enough.  One week we got peaches and a pint of blackberries.  Katie and Ava can eat a pint of blackberries on the ride home from the CSA pick-up site.

On two different weeks we got corn.  I honestly assumed we would be getting corn all the time.  And four ears of corn won't feed my family.  Neither will the four potatoes I received each week.

Granted I did purchase the 'mini' share but I don't think I could have handled the amount of zucchini and squash a full share would have offered.

So, just like my grass-fed beef purchase, I have to admit that this CSA was a 'Fail" for us.  That doesn't mean I have given up trying to find and purchase good organic food for my family.  It just means I am going to have to investigate some other ways to do so.

Book Review - The Rock Star in Seat 3A

I hesitate to call this a book.  It's 200 pages and the font is REAL big.  That's not a complaint.  I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with short stories.  But publishers can't make any money off short stories so some schmuck ends up paying $18.99 for this.

I got my copy for free at the library so I'm not on a rampage over the size of this 'book'. 

Hazel is the main character.  Her life is great,  She lives in Manhattan.  She works at a video game company.  She is engaged to a handsome celebrity chef in the making. 

Hazel takes a business trip to LA.  She gets upgraded to first class and ends up seated by her rock star idol. 

They fall in love...or something.

If you have ever had a crush on anyone famous, then you could have written most of this book.  It's fairly predictable.  Predictable doesn't mean bad though.  It's pretty entertaining and, while the ending isn't surprising, it is pretty satisfying.